A Dog's Purpose - Stimpy Update

Max and Stimpy sunning themselves on the deck at Tybee. Max is our 18-month Alaskan Malamute and was given to us by Patricia Z. an amazing massage therapist friend of ours.





Tybee Island, Ga. --- Stimpy is doing very well today. He has enjoyed two long walks, several poops, and even wanted to chase a cat. He snuck a chicken bone, ate well at dinner, and has had a share of treats. The other boys are all doing well. Everyone is now medicated except me and Kay.

Our friend Vivian here at Tybee shared this very insightful story with us ...

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.

Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

Stimpy Update and I Agree with IBD Editorial

Our continued thanks to all of you for your prayers and best wishes.

I am pleased to report today that Stimpy is holding his own. He is still walking daily, somewhat restless at night, sleeping though as soundly and as close to me as he can, and still likes his treats.

He has sunned himself some today and we were told yesterday by the doctor that he could give no real meaningful prognosis and wouldn't. That what was important was that Stimpy was alive and still enjoying himself. His input is about the same, his output is being helped by stool softeners.

He is still capable of chasing a squirrel albeit not far and showing his disdain for cats --- something he has not been able to teach Max. Sweet Max wants to own his own cat. Apparently he has told Stimpy that he would care for him, exercise him, feed him, and hug him if we wuld just agree to letting him have one!

We are hopeful that we will take Stimpy home to spend Christmas at Lake Barkley and further that his pain and discomfort will not become overbearing any time soon.

We are taking it a day at a time. I am handling my emotions the same way.

"Dirty Harriet"

Now, this is an editorial I totally agree with --- something I rarely find any where in the media these days.

As my old friend Doug Bailey always said, "An armed society is a polite society." I could not have said it better!

A Dirty Harriet Saves Day In Colorado

By INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY | Posted Tuesday, December 11, 2007 4:20 PM PT

Second Amendment: As the Supreme Court ponders what the Constitution means, a volunteer security guard in Colorado shows that the problem with society may not be who has guns, but who doesn't.

Every time there are multiple shootings, like those that occurred over the weekend at the Youth With A Mission missionary training center in Arvada, Colo., and later at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, we are lectured about the easy access to firearms in the U.S. and the dangers it creates.

But many are thankful today that Jeanne Assam, a volunteer security guard at New Life, had easy access to a gun when Matthew Murray entered the east entrance of the church and began firing his rifle. Murray was carrying two handguns, an assault rifle and more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition.

If Jeanne Assam had not had a gun at her side, dozens more might have died in Sunday's shooting at New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

Assam, who worked as a police officer in downtown Minneapolis in the 1990s and is licensed to carry a weapon, shot Murray. Had she not done so, more than two would have been killed at the church that day. Two others had been killed by Murray at Arvada. New Life's senior pastor Brady Boyd said Assam's actions saved the lives of 50 to 100 people.

Last February, another disturbed young man from war-torn Bosnia entered the Trolley Square Mall in Ogden, Utah, and began shooting, killing five people.

Utah is a right-to-carry (RTC) state but lets property owners post signs proclaiming an exception on their premises.

A sign posted in the mall reminded people that concealed carry permit holders could not bring their weapons inside. Trolley Square was a gun-free zone, except for predators. Fortunately, inside the mall was an off-duty Ogden police officer, who was carrying a concealed weapon in violation of the law, and was the first to trade shots with the gunman. He is credited with preventing the murder of more innocent victims.

Unfortunately, he was at the opposite end of the mall and on another floor when the shooting started. If concealed carry permit holders were allowed to take their firearms into the mall, maybe those five could have been spared or even defended themselves.

Gun-control advocates argue that allowing people to carry guns encourages their reckless use.
But despite dire warnings by RTC critics, neighbors aren't routinely offing neighbors and bodies aren't piling up like cordwood across America in one huge Gunfight at the OK Corral.

Since 1991, according to NRAILA.org, 23 more states have adopted RTC laws for a total of 40. The number of privately owned firearms has risen by nearly 70 million and violent crime is down 38%. In 2005, RTC states had, on average, a 22% lower violent crime rate, 30% lower murder rate, 46% lower robbery rate and 12% lower aggravated assault rate.

Like Trolley Square, Westroads Mall in Omaha, Neb., where eight people were gunned down recently was also a gun-free zone. So was Virginia Tech, where a gunmen killed 32 people in two attacks hours apart.

This Colorado incident comes as the Supreme Court hears an appeal of a ruling by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit in Parker v. District of Columbia. The ruling struck down D.C.'s draconian ban on the private ownership of firearms as a violation of the Second Amendment's right to keep and bear arms.

The D.C. court ruled, among other findings, that the Second Amendment's placement high in the Bill of Rights makes it, and the right to self-defense, along with speech and religion, etc., an individual right.

We think Jeanne Assam and the people she saved would agree.

###

And yes, just for the record, my wife and I are both CCW permit holders, and yes I do carry everywhere I go except into airports and Federal facilities.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

Friends and clients who truly care

Stimpy at rest on our deck at 202 Second Avenue, Tybee Island, Ga. Rescued when he was about a year old from the wilds of the mountains in Oak Ridge, Tenn., Stimpy has been my faithful partner and companion for the past 14-years. He was inadvertently named for the cat in the cartoon series "Ren and Stimpy" because my wife thought "Stimpy" was the dog on the show.


Tybee Island, Ga. --- Stimpy had a restful night last night although Kay and I are both now waking up about 3 a.m. and reading. Little Bit had to be taken to the doctor today with the same ailment as Max seems to be suffering.

We have decided to depart Tybee Island on our original plan of December 20th and hopefully we will have Stimpy home for his last Christmas in Kentucky.


He does not at present seem to be in any distress or discomfort to speak of. He even treed a squirrel yesterday. “Saqaw” the Squirrel and he go way back to his puppy days in Oak Ridge when the squirrels and “Kala” the Crow would pester him on our walks and hikes in the mountains.

We will keep everyone posted through the blog.

Mentally I am having good hours and bad ones about this whole ordeal. I am reminded by ordeals such as this one that life is short and every minute is to be enjoyed. Dogs live in the minute --- the here and now --- they have no past nor any future as far as they are concerned.

Humans, especially this human, has lived a great deal of his life in the past and always looking toward the future. Dogs can teach us a lot of important things and perhaps one of the most important is how to live in the now.

The other day I sent a note to all my clients and friends and explained that for all practical purposes I would be worthless until after the first of the year. Dealing with this personal crisis is consuming my time and my mental energy.

The one thing that has helped me more than I can ever express in words are the messages and notes of concern that everyone all across the country have been sending us since I let them know of the situation.

The understanding and compassion our clients and friends are sharing with us truly are helping us to cope and we could not be more thankful. It is during times such as these that we realize we have so many dear friends.

Here are some of the messages we have received

Darryl, I can understand as I lost both my Bassett Hounds when they were 18 years old and my 19-year-old cat all in the same year. I will tell you it was the longest week each time I had to have one put down. I felt like I was taking them to the death chamber to have them relieved of their pain. I now realize it was selfish of me to make them hang on for so long as they wore out, but I did not want to give them up for I was so attached. Darryl it literally broke my heart and I cried all day and struggle to write this now thinking about it.

The vet told me more than once to remember quality of life for them and I wanted to keep them. If it is any help or comfort I did not know what to do with the first one as I showed up at the vet and was told no hope and she would have to be put down. Decision time what do you do take her home in a bag to be buried, have them dispose of the remains or have her cremated? I chose the cremation that way I could have all three done then buried together as they spent their lives that way together all day and night. I do not think I could have taken the dog (Chelsea) home and had the strength to dig a hole to bury her.

A person cannot imagine if they have not walked in yours and my shoes. They may say it is just a dog and I say no it is one who has trusted me all its life and in return has been a loyal friend to me. I pray that you will find comfort in your decision whatever it is as you will go thru it again with others and it does not get any easier.

God give you comfort as you mourn the loss. If I can help please call me on my cell day or night. C.H. Hopkinsville, KY

Bless your heart, Darryl. I am so sorry about Stimpy. And I am sorry you have to work through his illness and pain and his leaving this sweet old world. I am just really happy that I got to visit there a couple of times and rub his head and ears and enjoy the company of Stimpy and Little Bit. They are sweet dogs and I know you are having a hard time. I am glad that Kay is there to take charge of logistics and to take care of you. And I am glad you have been in a warmer, kinder climate but I think it is probably a good thing to bring Stimpy home to the lake house. Either way, he knows he is a lucky dog. He knows you have loved him. And yes, I am sure that he is trying to take care of you emotionally too. All those enigmatic smiles, those adoring wise eyes are full of you. Heck, you two probably have already known each other in lives past and will know each other again in a future life. I am pretty sure of that. Don't call me crazy. I just got home from working at the clothing store where our manager affectionately calls us “shoe dogs”. (We fetch slippers and shoes, we use a few tricks to make shoes fit, and we make people's tired, sore old "dogs" feel a little better with a good fit. I like that term even more, now that I think of it, though honestly none of us deserve such a noble title. Any how, I am just sitting here empathizing with you and wishing Stimpy could have missed this sad ordeal altogether and I am responding to you because I love you and I will be thinking of you and Kay and Stimpy and Little Bit. And for some strange reason, I am seeing in my mind's eye the back of one of our Life is Good tee shirts. It says, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is the day. You are doing everything the way you are supposed to do it right now, Darryl. Today is the day. Whisper to Stimpy and tell him Charlotte said "Good Boy." I love you, Bro. – C.P. Lexington, KY

Doc --- sorry to hear of this as I have had this task as well in the past one was my police shepherd the other my family dog both were as close as a child to my wife and I both were the protectors of the house while I was out on the road so I know how close and how much a part of our lives they become - If possible and he is able take him home and treat him to a good meal and do what needs to be done and take knowledge in the fact that you are doing what is best for him it will be hard for a while but over time you will know what you did was for the best and remember the good times with him - Dan Hubbard CPS/TSO

Doc --- I do not know you nor have I responded to a post on our net so I hope this works correctly. I just want to say how sorry I am for you and your beloved partner. I have my border collie Destiny, who is now 13 and we have spent many long hard hours together on the cattle ranch where we live. I know the special bond that develops between true partners who love their work. I am very sorry for you. Sincerely, Ellamarie Richmond

Darryl: Although we have never met in person, I feel like we developed an instant friendship in our conversations over the past few weeks. Maybe it was because we are both dog lovers and were able to share stories about our very dear four legged friends. I just wanted to take the time to let you know I will keep you and Kay in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Thanks for sharing your stories of Stimpy. Take care, Lori, Panama City, FL

Darryl – Best of luck with Stimpy. We’ve been through this—most recently with Choey two falls ago. Only dog owners understand how hard these times are. We are thinking about you all. Remember that 15 years with a wonderful dog is more than most of us can ever hope for—so you’ve been blessed. Mac, Bardstown, KY

Darryl, I'm so sorry to hear Stimpy's news. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Cammie, Cadiz, KY

A couple of years ago my family lost our cocker that had been part of our family for 15 plus years. It was tough on all of us. You have my sympathy. Tim Murphy, CIC, AAI, Hopkinsville, KY

I am very, very sorry to hear this news. I cannot imagine how traumatic this must be. You and Stempy are in my prayers. – Jonell, Louisville, KY

Dear Darryl: Kay mentioned to me at the program review that Stimpy is not doing well. I am so sorry to hear of his suffering. Please take the time you need to support Stimpy and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. Sincerely, Tom, Bethesda, MD

Hey Darryl --- We are so sorry to hear about Stimpy. We know he has been a good and faithful companion who has helped you weather a number of storms. Please be consoled by the fact that you also rescued him and gave him a wonderful, happy life. You are in our thoughts, as we know how difficult it is to lose a pet. Love, Dawn and Richard, Knoxville, TN

Darryl, I'll keep you, Kay, Stimpy and the other boys in my prayers. Love, Rosemary, Belton, TX

Darryl and Kay, Walker & I said a prayer for Stimpy today, and also the two of you. You are in our prayers. Sam, Eddyville, KY

Darryl, We are so sorry to hear about Stempy. Dogs are truly man's best friend. When we are happy, they are happy. And, when we are sad, so are they. I know these are very difficult times, but I hope you can find solace in the fact that Stempy's spirit will always be with you. It would seem that the long trip back to the lake might be a bit difficult for him. But since he knows how happy you are at the beach -- and how much he enjoys the routine you two have established on these special beach vacations, I'm sure both you and he can find peace in knowing you've spent your final days together in the place the two of you enjoy so much. I know when Daisy passed away in Maryland, there was no way that Andy would have her buried there. We were able to have her cremated and brought her back to Tennessee with us. Maybe you can consider the same thing and Stempy can be in both places for you for the rest of time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Kay, and the boys. Love, Gail, Knoxville, TN

I haven't been on the computer for a couple of days. Ole' Stemper will be in our prayers. Also I didn't know that he'd have to go thru chemo and radiation! What an ordeal for the poor baby. I feel like you, Darryl. The prognosis is questionable and he's so old, I don't think he should go thru surgery either … under the circumstances. I know what we went thru with our Max and Tugger and believe me they are in a better place now. They suffered a lot and it was so very hard on us too....but ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do for the best of our beloved doggies. We were with Max and Tug when the time came so they knew we loved them so very much. We kissed them and said "goodnite" and they slowly and softly went to sleep...very peaceful and no pain whatsoever. It was just better for them....harder for us but again, better for them. So again, sweetie, 'Ole Stemper will be in our prayers and I know that you'll do the best thing for him. Love....Ann and Jim, Tybee Island, GA

Sorry to hear about your dog, Darryl. You have my sympathy--our dogs are "family." Dogs love unconditionally. Too bad we people can't do the same...it would be a great leap toward world peace. The best, Chuck H. Mayville, TN

Darryl, If there is anything I can do let me know Regards, Hol, Hopkinsville, KY

Dear Darryl, I am so sorry about Stimpy's condition. I hope you find some peace and joy with him in the time you have left together. We are thinking of you... Ellen and Dave, Clarksville, TN

I'm so, so sorry...know that I am thinking of you all, and keeping you in my prayers.
Much love, Carole, Nashville, TN

Darryl, I am so sorry to hear, and having just been through it, I know it is more than some folks realize. But it is as important as any thing we do in this life. A man's loyalty to his dog, which trusts him, is one of life's great moral obligations. And I know for you it is met with love in every decision and every act. Your friend, Noel, Knoxville, TN

Oh my dear one, I am so sorry. I know you've been trying to get ready for this but how can one be ready for this? I send you such love, please know my heart is with you and your beloved Stimpy. He has always been your angel. Please keep letting everyone know of developments, and I will tune in with my heart and my tears. Love you much, Marilyn, San Francisco, CA

Darryl, I'm so sorry. Please know we're all thinking about you. Patti M., Storm Lake, IA

I am so sorry to hear that Stimpy does have cancer. I know this is a difficult time for you and Kay, as well as Stimpy. All I can do is keep you all in my prayers. I love you all, Betty M., Smyrna, GA

oh my goodness! i am so sorry you are having to go through this. i know you are like me, in that your dogs are your babies/children/companions/etc. i know it is something we all face as a pet owner, but you are never prepared for it, nor is it an easy thing to deal with. stimpy and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers. :) love brandy, TX

I am so sorry for you! I have been through this as well. Love, Valerie, Louisville, KY

HI Bro! So so sorry to hear about Stimpy...I remember ur doggie well, and know the pain involved in making those tough choices. I had to do the same for my 18 yr old cats back in DC , Pippin & Baggens, and then just this past March with Lily who was only 14 but also had a massive tumor in her belly...which i didn't even know about until she was on her way out. It is gut wrenching as they are truly our best friends and children to the core. Please know I am sending u much light to get thru this difficult time and also sending light to your puppy as he makes his way to the heavens to comfort your Mom and others waiting to great him. Love and Blessings, Sis, Monterey, CA

I am so sorry. I know what he means to you and I also know that he is family. Is there anything I can do? For what it is worth, I vote for bringing him back to the lake. That is the home he loved and you always will be close to him. Hugs and kisses and prayers. Gaynell, Hopkinsville, KY

Hi Darryl, Thanks for the update on Stimpy. I am sorry to hear it. We helped our cat transition this year-it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, so I understand some of what you are feeling. We are sending our love and blessings and I am so happy that Stimpy found you and vice versa. I know how important he has been to you and what a good friend. Being an Armstrong family member is a very cool thing-so I know he has had a supreme life. Let us know if we can support you in anyway. Much love, Danielle, OR

Bro, So sorry about Stimpy...I understand...and I'll be thinking about you and your long-time friend and companion. Larry, KY

Darryl and Kay, So saddened to hear about Stimpy. I knew that you had taken him to the vet but was unsure of the outcome. I well know about the loss of pets. Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you two special people now and always. Love, Cheryl and Joe, GA

THANKS so very much to you all for your notes, prayers and wishes.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

12.10.07 Update on Stimpy

Tybee Island, Ga. --- As many of you already know the biopsy on Stimpy showed a malignant cancer. I sincerely thank all of you for understanding our situation and being patient with us as we go through this ordeal.

For the past few days we have been doing our normal routine, walking, pooping and eating --- the dogs and me and Kay.

Stimpy’s output has remained pretty much the same and he seems to have no distress. He can still be his old independent and often times crotchety self demanding now and then some attention and some treats. He is eating about normal for him. He has never been a big eater. He still enjoys the treats although gets picky. He has just had his morning walk --- one of three he gets daily --- and is resting comfortably.

Max (on the right in photo, that's his friend "Teddy" on the left) last week developed a severe cough and the doctor has him on heavy antibiotics for a brachial infection, which it appears he picked up at the dog park unfortunately. This means the doctor has banned him from the park for two weeks. However, he seems to have adjusted okay to this now that we are doing three long walks each day.


Little Bit can tell there is something very badly wrong and both he and Stimpy, especially Stimpy, have taken to sleeping as close to me as they can. Of course, Little Bit has always been the “snuggler” of the three although now Max and Stimpy seem to be competing with him.

We have decided that we will not put Stimpy through the trauma and recovery of surgery at his age (105 in human years). The prognosis seemed to be he might get a year more with surgery and no chemo or radiation and maybe another year or two if he did have chemo and radiation.

The agonizing decision that looms, of course, is when do you know that his health has declined and his pain has begun? We have decided we will simply take it a day at a time and watch him carefully for any signs of distress.

So, that is the update for now. I did not write anything last week because Kay was gone with the computer and air card and I had no way to connect. I also have been fighting a terrible depression as you can imagine. Although writing is usually my way of handling such a depression, well writing and good Bourbon, neither seemed to work very well for me right now.

I can't express adequately how much we appreciate the outpouring of love, prayers and thoughts that so many of you across the country have sent us during this time. Your expressions of kindness have provided all of us great comfort.

I will be sharing many of those notes on this blog in the near future.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.com

The Call of the Wild

Madison visits with Kay, Stimpy and Little Bit at the Tybee Island Dog Park, December 2007.

Tybee Island, Ga. --- Stimpy had a pretty restful night but he chased rabbits most of the evening. I suspect that he is hearing the “Call of the Wild” --- his original pack is recognizing his closeness.

His output today was minimal despite the fact he ate really well yesterday especially his treats. He did tree a squirrel on today’s walk but it was half-hearted and he is only acknowledging the cats with an icy stare and contempt.

He is still pretty frisky on the walks and especially when he is ready to return home. As always he has his own mind and decides his own path. Today, we cut out of the rest of the pack and returned about 20-minutes early. He is resting comfortably on his rug and raising an eyebrow now and then.

What Stimpy has taught me

When the student is ready the teacher will come

Have you ever wondered if God, whatever he or she is, has a sense of irony and humor and just might be dyslexic?

After all, when you spell Dog backwards it is a clear indication to me that these animals were made to reflect all those things that God and the Creator wanted to teach us.

Stimpy has taught me a great deal these past 14 years especially about how to talk out my problems, my hopes, my fears, my aspirations, my heartaches and my losses.

I have faced demons and memories long buried on many of my daily walks with him. I have talked through crap and feelings that I would never share with anyone else. I have faced fears long ago stuffed away for the “fear” they might show weakness. I have used him as my sounding board for difficult personal and professional times and situations. I have shared my loneliness and happiness with him.

And not one time did this beautiful creation of God ever judge me, criticize me, or “want to talk it out.” He just listened and showed compassion and unconditional love.

Unconditional love is the one trait that Man is incapable of and yet our dogs seem to be born with the gene. They are never at a loss to show it when we come home to them.

Stimpy has listened when no one else had the time.

I have shared with him the pain of losing a child, best friends and a Mother. I have told him of childhood horror and abuse and of adult angst. And I have shared my heart’s greatest wishes of love never fulfilled and dreams shattered.

Never once did he complain, explain, or criticize or even offer his opinion. He simply gave me those soulful and all knowing looks that conveyed love and compassion that only God’s dogs can do.

As a behavioral psychologist, I studied animal and human behavior and I also sought out and took numerous clinical and social psychology classes. I have always been fascinated with the behavioral aspects of people and animals.

Much like Stimpy, I like to sit and watch people, listen to them, analyze and digest all the sights and sounds of a situation.

To be good as a behaviorist experts argue you have to crawl inside the mind and live there to understand the emotions, motivations, and behaviors of a person.

That’s where I am living a lot these days --- inside myself.

Friends want to console me but there is no consoling that can be done.

I have to simply work through all the feelings about Stimpy and come out the other side.

At times like these it often feels like I am fighting my way through a thick veil of doubt and sadness. A state of being that most men I know would never own up to or admit. We are after all brought up to be the “protector, provider and the strong one” in the family that consoles everyone else. And yes, I do my best to do that for everyone else when they need it. However, the doctor can’t do it for myself.

Simply these days my emotions are raw and ragged, I hurt and ache deep from within --- my thinking is not clear, and my heart --- my heart simply hurts with the pain of a what I know will be at some point a pending loss of truly my best friend.

In the years past, I dealt with anger, grief and frustration through massive quantities of alcohol – Scotch was my preference and I would drink it like most people would drink Coke.

Stimpy weaned me from that abuse.

In the past I would shut down and not even talk to myself about my own problems.

Stimpy taught me that talking to at least him was a therapeutic experience.

I put up a lot of walls in the 70s, walls that I would let few people ever see over, and even fewer would I allow to crawl over and come inside to visit.

Stimpy showed me that he could walk through those walls as if they were not even there.

And today, as he rests on the couch with his enigmatic smile and loving eyes, I suspect he is still trying to teach me.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandassociates.org

Being thankful and grateful at Christmas – and a Stimpy update

The Armstrong Clan's 2007 Christmas Photo




Tybee Island, Ga. --- On June 1st, 1994 I started ARMSTRONG and Associates. Two years later Kay joined the business. We have been blessed ever since and for that we are very grateful and thankful.

How did I arrive at such a life changing decision?

To that point in my life I had worked since I was 13 years old.

I had been a:
Janitor
Stock boy
Reporter
Photographer of news, sports, weddings, babies, car wrecks, fires, dead bodies and autopsies
Baseball, football and basketball statistician
Door-to dooor bible salesman
Printer’s assistant
Dark room operator
A card-carrying boilermaker in a pipe production facility
An assistant to Joe Tom Erwin, Murray State University’s greatest Sports Information Director ever in my opinion
Deliverer of newspapers where I built a 50-newspaper route into a route of more than 900
Bus boy in a cafeteria

And then after I graduated from college a:

·Contract employee for one of those three letter agencies “serving” my country
·Manager for TVA and the Corps for 16-years

And finally I ended up at Oak Ridge National Laboratory where I spent four long years working for Martin Marietta Energy Systems and being bored and frustrated.

It was time for a life altering decision. I was unhappy and unfulfilled. I felt as if I had no identity having left TVA where I was an executive.

I stepped out of the “secure” world (an oxymoron) of working for someone else that June --- something I had done many years of my life and reminded myself that I had been a successful freelancer in college as a photographer, reporter and small business operator.

One of my commitments to myself at the time I started the business was that I would give back 10% of my time and my revenue to my community, my world, to those things in society I believed in and wanted to see prosper. We still do that although we have upped the percentage.

I remembered in December of 1994 that my Grandfather Gunther had always supported the Salvation Army and as a child encouraged everyone one of his grand kids to always give to the “bell ringer” staffing the kettles even if it was only a nickel.

So, it was that I volunteered that December to ring the bell at the Oak Ridge Mall.

The evening was very bitter and cold and so I dressed in my old Army field jacket, insulated underwear, gloves, a toboggan and scarf and yet I was still cold.

But ring the bell I did with great gusto and enjoyment for now I was returning what the Universe had so wonderfully provided --- and still does to this day. I finally felt free.

As I stood there that cold Wednesday night listening to Christmas carols I remembered the words of Tommy Miller, Kay’s Father and Jim Knipe, my adopted Dad at Tybee Island, both of whom had encouraged and inspired me and reassured me that I could be successful at whatever I chose. These were messages I had never before received from adults that I admired and respected as much as I did these two men.

I recalled all the times in my life that I had doubted myself, all the insecurities that were honed in me by living in a situation where “security” was always placed in others hands.

That led me to think about what was success and what was security?

And it dawned on me then as it does today as I write this that it is not about money, prestige, power, material goods, fine cars and expensive houses.

Success became pretty clear to me that evening as nickels and dimes began to appear from kids and adults of all ages, success was having the freedom to stand out on a cold night in December and “ring the bell” to encourage people to help someone less fortunate.

I could do this for the first time in my life and not be worried about my own needs because the Universe and hard work combined were creating success for me.

Success was about having friends that came to me in all shapes and sizes, genders and races, educational and income levels, and of many different religious and political persuasions.

Success was being able to spend quality time with your friends and not dreading going back to work.

Success was feeling good about your work, yourself and your family.

Success was not a thing --- duh --- it was a state of mind.

I saw many things that evening that reminded me of the interconnectedness of all of humanity and how all of us are successful in our on ways.

Take the East Tennessee family who rolled into the parking lot in a smoking log truck that looked like it was on its last legs. Literally toothless, dressed in pretty dirty and dingy work clothes, the Father marched his kids up to the kettle and each put in a dollar and thanked me. When it came his turn he pulled a wad of money from his overalls and peeled off a hundred dollar bill. He smiled a toothless grin and thanked me for standing out in the cold and said, “They helped me when I needed it the most, now it’s my turn to help them out.”

Or, the minority chap dressed in the sagging pants and gang colors and draped in “bling” who walked up and dropped in his hundred dollars and told me “not to worry they were watching out for me.”

Each one had achieved success and now they were sharing it.

I realized that night that only in America could a kid like me with parents who had minimal education, low paying jobs, and who lived on the wrong side of town and the “tracks” grow up to be as successful as anyone.

I realized that it was my parents who instilled in me a work ethic that would sustain me for my life and how I would always be grateful for that.

In some way it was my parents that helped me develop my love of reading and learning.

Sadly, I suspect that some of that instilled behavior came from my escape to quieter parts of the house when they were in their fighting modes and raising their voices to one another. For me a book offered another world where life was calm and peaceful and no one raised their voices or said unkind things. It still does to this day.

And although my wife wonders why I always have the TV or radio playing when I am at work or just around the house, I suspect the psychologist in me would admit it is about “drowning out” the voices I still hear in my head that are critical, unkind and harsh.

I can’t hear very well any more out of one ear; too much shooting of guns in my earlier years without using hearing protection. Even now I can’t stand to be in a room where there is chaos, loud voices and noises, and competition to speak and be heard.

Perhaps this is another way my parents helped me be successful because one of the things I seemingly do well is to help groups of people chill out, calm down and talk to one another instead of at one another.

I really don’t like conflict yet most of my career has been based on helping people deal with it and to develop relationships with people so that when conflict arises we can talk it through to a mutually satisfactory ending instead of going to court and the media to get attention.

I realized that cold December evening that in one way or another every one of us views success differently and yet we are all capable of achieving our own success.

And this December as we sit at Tybee Island, we will again give back some of our success for surely "Secret Santa” will make a visit to a neighbor.

Update on Mr. Stimper

Stimpy had a good day yesterday and is having a pretty good day today (Sunday). I did have to give him some pain meds around 2 a.m. this morning and he did take three pain pills yesterday. He is doing Number 2 yet you can tell he has to strain. However, he is as sweet and independent as always. He certainly had his share of treats yesterday and is eating well.

Thanks again to all of you who are praying for him and us.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org