Renewal

The story you may decide to read in a few minutes was written in April 1996.

Now, I will grant you that April is always a difficult time of the year for me. My Father was born in April. You pay your taxes to the dreaded IRS in April. Yet, April does have it's beauty of flowers and blooms and a renewal of the Earth that only spring can bring. Spring often brings renewal to my heart. I think often of the pleasant times I have had in the Spring and of loves lost, the passing of dear ones, and other things as you will read in the story that follows.

I appreciate the feedback many of you have provided me and it is for that reason that I decided to share a few more of the short stories I have written. Many of you seemed to really enjoy my Story about "Stempy" and how he came to be in my life.

By the way, just this morning I saw a glimpse of that old dog again. The weather here was much cooler today. When we got up to walk the "boys" at 6 a.m. it was down right chilly if you were wearing shorts and a T-shirt. My wolf dog couldn't have been happier. The briskness was back in his step. I am comforted by that.

He knows and I know that he is "getting long in the tooth," as they say, and even thinking about the inevitable sitting here at the computer makes my eyes tear up. The inevitable passing of loved ones --- and yes, Stempy definitely falls into that category --- always pains me, more each year, I guess, as I realize that I too shall pass one day and sooner now than just a few years ago.

So, it is with this melancholy that I share this "renewal" story with you. It always puts me in a better mood to read it. I hope you enjoy it and in some way it helps you to renew.

Without my "buddies" and dear friends I might not have renewed over the years. I am thankful for them and to them. Peace and grace, Dr. D.
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Renewal of the Mind, Body, and Spirit

(Written in the Spring of 1996 and originally delivered as a "sermon" at the United Church on the Hill in Oak Ridge, Tennessee)

Thank you for inviting me back to visit with you this morning. The last visit, as I recall, was around the time of the holidays and I shared with you my experiences with working with the Salvation Army and what that had meant to me as I proceeded along my life journey.

Today, I would like to visit with you briefly about "Renewal of the Mind, Body, and Spirit" -- and as all good speakers, I will make my remarks brief and then sit down -- that is one of the cardinal lessons I have learned in my life journey that has served me well.

Some of what I am about to share with you is very personal. I thought long and hard about what to say and how to say it. No one likes to have to admit their weaknesses and yet I believe that it is through our recognition of our weaknesses that we grow stronger.

Renewing the mind

In January of 1995, I felt the first serious pangs of what I could only describe as hopelessness and helplessness.

It was a desolate winter of my soul and being. My decision to work for myself had proceeded without significant problems and I was doing more work at times than I could handle.

However, something was still missing within me. Something at the very level of the gut kept stirring my emotions. This was complicated by the fact that because of who some of my clients were I couldn't do exactly what I wanted to do to get things off dead center on a certain project.

I became restless and listless. Sleep became either an escape from all this or wouldn't visit me at all.

The days were dark and dreary, as was my mind. I have never liked winter much any way and usually begin to experience the change of the seasons most readily in September, when the earth begins to turn its face away from the sun for its own rest.

I am sure that some of this relates to some of the bad experiences I have personally had in September, which is sad really since it is also my birth month.

Daily my state of feeling grew worse. Some pretty horrible thoughts began to cruise through my mind and in some cases parked long enough to cause me to become alarmed.

Then one Sunday afternoon my wife convinced me to take a walk with her on the Northridge Trail. Enroute to our parking area we passed a dog sitting on the side of the road watching the traffic go by. I thought nothing of that dog at that time except to perhaps remark he was there.

We parked our car and started our hike and eventually came to the road we had to cross where the dog sat. He was still there and readily joined us in our hike for about the next two hours.

When we returned to the road I told Kay to go ahead and I would command him to stay.

Likely idea, I was to realize later.

Instead, the summary of the story is: he rode home with us; Kay advertised for his owners and got no response; and when I returned from a business trip to Vegas I had a new dog pen, a dog -- named of all things Stempy (from the cartoon show of the name: Ren and Stempy); and a wife and dog enrolled in obedience school.

I am pleased to say obedience school taught my wife a few things, however, Stempy,
graduated at the bottom of his class.

Suddenly though, almost as if by God's plan a change began to take place with me and in my life. The feelings of despair and loneliness, which I had experienced for several weeks, began to wane.

Stempy quickly moved into my office and claimed the floor as his. My office cat was moved to the top of the TV with a special bed for her. I now have to twist and turn when he stays in the office with me just to get to the phone -- but I would take nothing for this dog.

In fact, it was my dear friend in California that pointed out to me most appropriately that "angels come in all shapes and sizes."

I know for a fact she was right. This husky, coyote, basset hound eyed dog literally saved my life. He renewed the way I think about life, about my work, and about those little setbacks and issues that we all have daily.

I named him my Chief Financial Officer and he makes all my financial decisions --- one bark,"Yes," we will take the contract; two barks," No", let's take a walk. He has yet to fail me on a decision.

As I grow tense and stressed during the day, he senses it and demands a walk or at least some play time.

He perpetually grins and has a mischievous demeanor that elicits a smile and my affection.

He didn't just renew my mind, he renewed my heart.

I wrote about this experience in my Christmas newsletter. A letter from our landlord (Jim Knipe)at the beach, who along with his wife (Ann) have adopted us as their "children, places things into perspective more for me and this experience than anything.

This is an excerpt from that letter.

Darryl, "This guy Mike Royko has always given me a chuckle...Let's have more laughs and not take ourselves so damn serious. We can't be all things to all people. Somewhere along the line half of the population isn't going to like the other half and will be divided between those that don't care one way or the other. A few, our family, select close friends, and ourselves are all we have to please.

"My retirement was a great adjustment period that took several years for me to adjust. Your recent change (the decision to leave corporate America and work for yourself) was a major factor in your attitude adjustment period.

"There is a young entertainer today by the name of Harry Connick, Jr. A fantastic musician,however, he can't seem to find what niche of the music world he belongs to. Someday he will and all will know his name.

"I believe you have found your proper area. It will only take a little time for you to adjust. Remember you only have to please yourself.

"The materialistic things don't matter. Your family, Kay, Stempy, friends and achievable goals are most important.

"We have three children, but for all intent and purposes they have their own lives. So it's Ann and myself ,really.

"You and Kay were meant for each other. Build that cabin in the mountains and enjoy life.

"Love, your friend, Jim."

To the matter of renewing the body.

Three of my friends and family came down with cancer within the same week about four years ago now. I was highly stressed by this, as you can imagine.

One was my hunting partner of more than 25 years, who had just retired; one was Diane
Sexton, whom I had also known for many years and considered her the sister I never had; and the other was my father.

Since that time all three of these dear people have recovered and experienced at least one more round in their on-going battle.

Now, I realize most of you are aware of the dramatic medical breakthroughs in cancer and how application of chemotherapy and radiation; surgery; and drugs can help people live longer and have a more quality life after winning the battle.

However, it was during these ordeals that I began to read more extensively the works of Dr. Bernie Segal and Dr. Depak Chopra. I had seen a dear friend who had used hypnosis and diet to extend the quality of her life during her time with cancer. I had sensed but never first-hand witnessed the tremendous power and connection between mind and body. How one can affect and impact the other.

Especially how the mind and the minds of others could go about helping to heal the body.

I am not hesitant to say, because my evidence convinced me, that prayer had a significant influence on the healing of my friends and family.

Each time that these friends needed assistance, I turned to the Internet and Unity and asked for help in praying for the healing of their bodies.

Now, there are those of you sitting here today that have subscribed to the power of prayer only at those times when need was most.

In the past, I was one of those people. I know how it is to jump in the middle of the stream of a situation and ask God for help. Sometimes I suspect he picks up the receiver and says , "Oh, it's Darryl again. He must want something."

However, since these experiences I have integrated prayer into an on-going stream of
consciousness with myself. I not only ask and but I also give thanks profusely for the ways things are and my many blessings.

When I pray and meditate I do so in strange and unusual places. Like on airplanes when the pilot is about to take off and I am out of total control.

In airports because I spend so much time in them. When I drive, or walk in the woods. When I am tired and troubled -- I still try and give thanks for all the blessings and then ask for guidance and support and healing for my friends.

I am convinced prayer works. We have proof of process sitting in this church today.

Prayer warriors throughout the world prayed for my Dad on his last surgery. Just six weeks ago he underwent a second cancer surgery. The right lobe of his lung was removed. He has healed physically rapidly and without complication.

More importantly, he has healed for the first time in 65 years mentally. He has gone from a man that could sink into the depths of horrid manic depressiveness with a drop of the hat, to a man full of life, chatter, and plans for the future. In fact, my Mother now has to compete for telephone time.

He has gotten him a new cat; is making plans for my Aunt to return to the family farm and live; and is ready for me to come home and till a garden.

I am particularly impressed by these dramatic changes because in a prayer prior to his surgery we asked that: "God's will be done and that if it were God's will that Dad return from surgery to get own with living his life to its fullest."

I believe in my deepest heart of hearts --- that prayer was answered.

My Dad has never been a writer of anything. Yet, shortly after he returned home we received the following card: "Darryl and Kay, I would like to thank both of you for what you have done for me while I was in the hospital. Most of all thank you for just being there. This was a rough one and it really made a difference knowing you were with me and seeing you the next morning. Thank you for taking care of your Mother and showing her around because I was not able to do so. Thanks for going to all the trouble you went to when you came and got us in Princeton and took us to the hospital. Everything went great and we made it home okay. Thanks again for everything. Love, Dad and Mom"

Although my Dad and I have never been close, perhaps, also through the power of prayer we are on a road to healing those issues as well.

I am of the opinion that spirit never dies.

Donna Walls and I met by letter. We never talked. We never met face to face.

The first letter was mine sent to her after reading that she had ALS and that the community of Loretto, Kentucky was raising money to buy her a computer so she could communicate with her family and friends.

That one letter lead into a five year monthly exchange of letters. She typed hers meticulously one character at a time by blinking her right eye. Her letters were long, informative, and full of love and life.

I learned quickly from her that no matter what the debilitation --- her indomitable spirit would not be felled by ALS or anything else.

Donna couldn't talk, walk, or communicate except through her computer. She was at her
passing one of only a handful of people in the world who had survived with ALS more than 12 years.

I miss her letters. I miss her. Sometimes I selfishly want her back so we could continue writing. But I know I am never without her.

I have shared with you today those experiences over the past years that have helped me to renew myself.

I believe there is much hope for renewal not just us as individuals but for the world community as well. And I believe each year we must all work toward renewal of our minds, bodies and souls.

I leave you today with a modified blessing from our friends the Irish:

"On your life journey...may you always have a soft gentle wind at your back; may the wonderful warm sun of God's countenance shine on you face; and may He always hold you gently in the palm of his hand. Amen"

God bless. Peace, love and grace.

END
April 2, 1996, April 14, 1996, April 28, 1996

Until next time.

Dr. Darryl

L. Darryl Armstrong
ARMSTRONG and Associates

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