The Armstrong Clan's 2007 Christmas Photo
Tybee Island, Ga. --- On June 1st, 1994 I started ARMSTRONG and Associates. Two years later Kay joined the business. We have been blessed ever since and for that we are very grateful and thankful.
How did I arrive at such a life changing decision?
To that point in my life I had worked since I was 13 years old.
I had been a:
Janitor
Stock boy
Reporter
Photographer of news, sports, weddings, babies, car wrecks, fires, dead bodies and autopsies
Baseball, football and basketball statistician
Door-to dooor bible salesman
Printer’s assistant
Dark room operator
A card-carrying boilermaker in a pipe production facility
An assistant to Joe Tom Erwin, Murray State University’s greatest Sports Information Director ever in my opinion
Deliverer of newspapers where I built a 50-newspaper route into a route of more than 900
Bus boy in a cafeteria
And then after I graduated from college a:
·Contract employee for one of those three letter agencies “serving” my country
·Manager for TVA and the Corps for 16-years
And finally I ended up at Oak Ridge National Laboratory where I spent four long years working for Martin Marietta Energy Systems and being bored and frustrated.
It was time for a life altering decision. I was unhappy and unfulfilled. I felt as if I had no identity having left TVA where I was an executive.
I stepped out of the “secure” world (an oxymoron) of working for someone else that June --- something I had done many years of my life and reminded myself that I had been a successful freelancer in college as a photographer, reporter and small business operator.
One of my commitments to myself at the time I started the business was that I would give back 10% of my time and my revenue to my community, my world, to those things in society I believed in and wanted to see prosper. We still do that although we have upped the percentage.
I remembered in December of 1994 that my Grandfather Gunther had always supported the Salvation Army and as a child encouraged everyone one of his grand kids to always give to the “bell ringer” staffing the kettles even if it was only a nickel.
So, it was that I volunteered that December to ring the bell at the Oak Ridge Mall.
The evening was very bitter and cold and so I dressed in my old Army field jacket, insulated underwear, gloves, a toboggan and scarf and yet I was still cold.
But ring the bell I did with great gusto and enjoyment for now I was returning what the Universe had so wonderfully provided --- and still does to this day. I finally felt free.
As I stood there that cold Wednesday night listening to Christmas carols I remembered the words of Tommy Miller, Kay’s Father and Jim Knipe, my adopted Dad at Tybee Island, both of whom had encouraged and inspired me and reassured me that I could be successful at whatever I chose. These were messages I had never before received from adults that I admired and respected as much as I did these two men.
I recalled all the times in my life that I had doubted myself, all the insecurities that were honed in me by living in a situation where “security” was always placed in others hands.
That led me to think about what was success and what was security?
And it dawned on me then as it does today as I write this that it is not about money, prestige, power, material goods, fine cars and expensive houses.
Success became pretty clear to me that evening as nickels and dimes began to appear from kids and adults of all ages, success was having the freedom to stand out on a cold night in December and “ring the bell” to encourage people to help someone less fortunate.
I could do this for the first time in my life and not be worried about my own needs because the Universe and hard work combined were creating success for me.
Success was about having friends that came to me in all shapes and sizes, genders and races, educational and income levels, and of many different religious and political persuasions.
Success was being able to spend quality time with your friends and not dreading going back to work.
Success was feeling good about your work, yourself and your family.
Success was not a thing --- duh --- it was a state of mind.
I saw many things that evening that reminded me of the interconnectedness of all of humanity and how all of us are successful in our on ways.
Take the East Tennessee family who rolled into the parking lot in a smoking log truck that looked like it was on its last legs. Literally toothless, dressed in pretty dirty and dingy work clothes, the Father marched his kids up to the kettle and each put in a dollar and thanked me. When it came his turn he pulled a wad of money from his overalls and peeled off a hundred dollar bill. He smiled a toothless grin and thanked me for standing out in the cold and said, “They helped me when I needed it the most, now it’s my turn to help them out.”
Or, the minority chap dressed in the sagging pants and gang colors and draped in “bling” who walked up and dropped in his hundred dollars and told me “not to worry they were watching out for me.”
Each one had achieved success and now they were sharing it.
I realized that night that only in America could a kid like me with parents who had minimal education, low paying jobs, and who lived on the wrong side of town and the “tracks” grow up to be as successful as anyone.
I realized that it was my parents who instilled in me a work ethic that would sustain me for my life and how I would always be grateful for that.
In some way it was my parents that helped me develop my love of reading and learning.
Sadly, I suspect that some of that instilled behavior came from my escape to quieter parts of the house when they were in their fighting modes and raising their voices to one another. For me a book offered another world where life was calm and peaceful and no one raised their voices or said unkind things. It still does to this day.
And although my wife wonders why I always have the TV or radio playing when I am at work or just around the house, I suspect the psychologist in me would admit it is about “drowning out” the voices I still hear in my head that are critical, unkind and harsh.
I can’t hear very well any more out of one ear; too much shooting of guns in my earlier years without using hearing protection. Even now I can’t stand to be in a room where there is chaos, loud voices and noises, and competition to speak and be heard.
Perhaps this is another way my parents helped me be successful because one of the things I seemingly do well is to help groups of people chill out, calm down and talk to one another instead of at one another.
I really don’t like conflict yet most of my career has been based on helping people deal with it and to develop relationships with people so that when conflict arises we can talk it through to a mutually satisfactory ending instead of going to court and the media to get attention.
I realized that cold December evening that in one way or another every one of us views success differently and yet we are all capable of achieving our own success.
And this December as we sit at Tybee Island, we will again give back some of our success for surely "Secret Santa” will make a visit to a neighbor.
Update on Mr. Stimper
Stimpy had a good day yesterday and is having a pretty good day today (Sunday). I did have to give him some pain meds around 2 a.m. this morning and he did take three pain pills yesterday. He is doing Number 2 yet you can tell he has to strain. However, he is as sweet and independent as always. He certainly had his share of treats yesterday and is eating well.
Thanks again to all of you who are praying for him and us.
Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org
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