Tone of Voice and My Friend Doug Bailey

Tybee Island, Ga. --- I am well aware that I have work to do. In fact, I can see it piled up on my desk here. It is the time of year when I have to pay attention to running the business, balancing the accounts, figuring out how I will make everything work despite slow payment from clients. So, I am well aware I should be working instead of writing but now and then I have to write for therapy.

A few things have spurred this writing spell –

1. My daughter’s best buddy – spott – has some serious health problems and like all of our best friends we agonize over the quality of their life and how we will deal with the loss. Those of you that know me know I don’t have a day pass that I don’t think about my ole buddy Stimpy and how much he meant to me – this despite the fact I have two great buddies with me right now – Max and Little Bit – it is just the romantic’s makeup – the “what if” part of our lives. What if our dogs could live as long as we did? What if our hearts weren’t broken so many times in our lives that pieces seem to never fully heal? What if we had just told those we love more often that we did love them before they passed? What if we could just get people to understand it is not what they say but how they say it? Those romantics reading this will understand.
2. I found in cleaning up some computer files today the eulogy I gave for a dear and close friend – “Donut Doug” – probably one of the closer male friends I have ever had. Four years ago this past Christmas Doug died in a truck wreck – I will share that eulogy with you at the end of this. What is important to know about Doug is that he understood me and what I dealt with probably more than most men. He was an only child. He understood the importance of language and especially tone of voice and how it could affect any situation because he too had been there and done that as they say.
3. Which brings me to one of the subjects of this blog – tone of voice. I grew up in a household where my Mother and Father would fight – loudly sometimes. Once they realized that I heard them and was greatly disturbed by their actions they went to using “tone of voice” to destroy one another and their arguments became staring and tonal contests. I learned quickly when my Mother used just a tone, never a loud voice, to correct me. Her tone alone could and did reduce me to a shivering heap of a child.

Maybe that is why I have spent almost 60-years of my life studying behavioral psychology and interpersonal communications – maybe I wanted to understand how just the tone of a person’s words can hurt more than anything that can be said or done.

Maybe that is why I don’t trust any politician whose language drips with the syrupy “trust me” and has the arrogant tone of a Senator Arlen Specter, who by the way should resign. If the way he treated Michelle Bachmann the other day is any indication of the way he treats women in general he is a disgrace to the Senate, politicians and to himself. Specter has been able to stay in the Senate and has been protected by both parties because of his inventiveness in coming of with the “Magic Bullet” theory in the JFK assassination. The public has grown weary of him and I predict he will be ousted with a massive vote against his inability to show integrity. Alas, I get away from what I wanted to write about.

Tone of voice

If the world wants to be a kinder and gentler place for us all I suggest people listen carefully to “how” they say what they say. They might just be surprised to find that their ineffective communications comes not from the information they are sharing rather it comes from the way they are sharing it.

Which brings me to Doug.

I miss Doug Bailey the most because he understood this very concept – Doug didn’t have to raise his voice or use force as a police officer to control a situation – he could with his tone of voice control most any situation while on or off duty. He understood that it is very easy to control a situation through words alone and how powerful those words can be when not used properly with the right tone.

Doug was unique among law enforcement and security folks. And what follows was my tribute to him as my friend ...

“Donut Doug”

Every now and then in your life you come across someone that you just know instantaneously is going to be a friend.

Someone who instinctively you realize shares similar values for God and Country, believes that most politicians are simply out to feather their own nests, and who likes dogs and guns.

So it was with Doug Bailey. Doug was a good ole East Tennessee born and reared fellow with a pleasant smile and a soft voice.

I actually met Doug in a snow storm one Christmas when he delivered his sister-in-law Marilyn King for me to pick up at a convenience market so we could share Christmas together.

Marilyn and I go back to our days at Murray State University and for some reason she is another of those friends I have never lost contact with over the last four decades.

Marilyn’s sister Carole married Doug and like she said she knew he was a good fellow when he didn’t run screaming from her house one night when her poodle Jasmine peed all over him --- Doug I am sure saw it much like I would --- he was being marked.

Doug like many of us had had a practice marriage. So had Carole. So when the two of them settled in with Carole’s two dogs it was not without careful thought. I have never seen two more compatible and happy people wed.

I met Doug when Carole and Marilyn were making the final plans for their Mother’s funeral. I officiated and gave the eulogy for Mrs. Louella King. Doug was most kind in his comments about the eulogy, however, that is not what made us friends.

Following the funeral Marilyn, Carole and Doug had to do what all children must. They had to make arrangements to settle the Mrs. King’s estate. Now, many spouses especially good ole boys from the South might have shunned any responsibility for this. Not Doug.

Doug had been there every step of the way with the slow decline of Mrs. King supporting her, Carole and Marilyn. Never once did I ever hear him complain, grumble or question the proceedings. Many son-in laws would have become difficult to be around in those circumstances but not Doug.

Doug and I got along so famously I think because he and I were similar in many ways.

He was an only child of parents of humble origins. He liked to read most anything but especially for fun Dean Koontz and magazines about guns. He liked guns and shooting them and he believed an armed society was a polite society. He liked Coast-to-Coast radio late at night and thinking about the esoteric side of life. He liked people and watching them and getting to know them. He liked helping people especially those less fortunate. He liked to eat good steak and have a cold beer. He was conservative in his politics and believed there was a right and a wrong and that our country was worth fighting and dying for. He was patient, kind and considerate to those especially in need of attention. He was gentle and yet firm. He was the kind of guy that you could trust your back to and never doubt it was well protected. He was funny and witty. He was good to his wife and attentive to her. He believed in a God and that John Wayne, Elvis Presley and President Ronald Reagan were national heroes.

Doug Bailey was the kind of person that if I were looking for a friend I could not have found one better. Sadly though Doug four years ago this December parted this world.

Doug liked to drive fast. So do I although I confess at age 59 I have slowed down a lot. One rainy evening enroute to work he failed to negotiate a rains slicked curve on I-440 and Doug joined many of our heroes that had gone before.

This is what I spoke about when I delivered Doug Bailey’s eulogy. Perhaps some of these words will resonate with you this Christmas season and you will truly find love, peace and grace:

The great writer Somerset Maugham once wrote, that ‘The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.’

Doug Bailey never ceased to love, of that I am sure. Everyone that came to know Doug knew him as a “Gentle Giant” of a man with a heart as big as they come. A heart that surely even in his final moments on this earth was filled with the love of life, family and friends.

Doug loved his Mom and Dad, his wife Carole, his sister in law Marilyn and each of his friends gathered here – he loved his job with an all consuming passion.

Now, how you say do I know this?

Well, when it comes to Carole let’s simply review the circumstances under which he won her heart --- 10 years ago this time of year --- in 1996 --- with one of the worst snowfalls the city had ever seen on the ground Carole and Doug were to have their first date --- Carole received a call from Doug -- she was certain that he would cancel after all – she lived in Madison – he in Laverne – they had really only talked a few times and she did live at the top of a very steep hill – yet as the time for the date approached with no relief in site for the weather when Doug called he simply confirmed the time he would pick her up – now Marilyn had felt so bad for her – fearing she would spend her birthday alone had sent her flowers – yet the day and time arrived and so did Doug – he was driving a new rented Jeep Cherokee geared to 4-wheel drive --- that was Doug --- dependable, responsible and true to his word – something that we would all learn that we could depend upon ---

Some of you will suggest that this was the sign of true love.

But this is the rest of the story --- shortly after this date one evening Carole invites Doug into her home to meet her beloved children --- two charming and cuddly poodles --- Jasmine and Black Jack – and when Doug gets seated and comfortable – Black Jack jumps up and proceeds too “mark his territory” on Doug’s pants – yes you heard me right --- now I am pretty sure we know how most men would have reacted --- most men certainly would have not reacted the way Doug did – but you see most men were not Doug – he later told everyone that he knew right then and there that the children were just christening their new Dad --- and as you know Carole -- he loved Jasmine and Black Jack just like they were his own children -

You can tell much about the character of a man by the way they treat animals and children and how they speak of their country, show respect for their flag and their work --- and how they speak of their wife and their mother-in-law ---

As many of you have attested Doug always spoke with great fondness of Carole when at work and remarked of how fortunate he was --- he told many of us – since he had had two practice marriages – that the third time was certainly charmed --- and if you were ever around the two of them you could tell from the way they interacted and spoke to each other that they loved and cherished one another ---

Carole and Marilyn’s Mother – Miss Louell King was equally adored by Doug --- during her extended illness he was always available to assist and help in anyway to care and comfort her, Carole and Marilyn --- he and Miss Louell shared common interests --- a sweet tooth and movies --- and he thought so much of her in fact he even agreed to care for her sickly and aging poodle “Misty” after Miss Louell passed away --- as you know when Doug made a commitment he would always fulfill it /// a valuable lesson that I am sure was taught by his parents –-- now Misty was an aging old soul herself ---blind and incontinent one day Doug went to the garage to check on her and in frustration he kicked not Misty but her bedding --- later he would tell his own Mother --- Miss Shirley that he was certain that he had received a ghostly and swift kick in the butt that day –

Miss Louell surely watched over him then and I am certain greeted him with open and loving arms when he arrived the other night

Doug was one of those sensitive souls that knew just how much a Mother can mean to their daughters --- he was there for them with never a question asked or a complaint given during those days of illness --- it was in fact at Miss Louell’s funeral that I came to truly know Doug and began to cherish and love himself myself ---

Many of you may not know this but Doug has always had a healthy respect for law enforcement --- he began to show that respect early on in his life --- it seems that around age 16 or so that Mr. Bailey had bought and helped him soup up a 1972 Grand Prix (car shopping was something he and his Dad had in common) – Mr. Bailey said he found out only later that the car with its new carburetor would do about 130 – in fact it ran so good that one night as Doug was being chased by the Knoxville PD he felt badly enough about the fact they couldn’t catch him that he actually stopped and waited for them to catch up --- now after being detained and taken to the jail he pleaded with the officers not to arrest him because most assuredly his dad would not bail him out --- after a stern lecture he was released --- and so his love of law enforcement began

Speaking of cars and trucks --- We all know that Doug loved his cars and trucks almost or maybe even as much as he loved his guns and his wife – his favorite car / Mr. Bailey says growing up / was a 1969 Yellow 396 Chevelle --- but whatever car or truck it was – it was Doug’s way all the way – his vehicles were always immaculate, clean inside and out – he was always buying, selling or trading – it was part of his East Tennessee heritage and one that he exercised all his life

Doug was a big reader --- all of his life --- in fact, around the 4th grade or so it seems that his Mom received a call from the principal of his school wondering when Doug was returning --- knowing full well that she and Mr. Bailey thought he was in school she called his Dad and they crept home --- he would later say that he knew he was in big trouble when he heard the high heels on the stairs --- sure enough Doug had --- how do we say gotten bored with school and would slip back home each day after his parents left --- and there he was curled up in bed with his cat and a book

Yep. our friend Doug was a reader, a researcher, a purveyor of knowledge -- if you know Dean Koontz you knew Doug’s favorite author --- yet Doug read lots of stuff – he satisfied his curiosities by reading and researching --- want to know about Human Growth Hormones or the best work out routine --- Doug was your man --- want to know the best ammo for a Glock or how to clean it in the upper tray of your dishwasher --- look no further than Doug--- want to discuss the latest conspiracy theories on 911, UFOs or psychic phenomena – pull up a chair and talk to any depth you wish – in past days Doug might have been called a Renaissance man – frankly I always thought he was just one of the most inquisitive students of human nature that I have ever had the privilege too know

Doug Bailey could do anything – absolutely anything he set his mind to –-- think about it --- at age 46 he chucks his corporate job --– goes to the Academy and fortunately ends up at Vanderbilt University working eventually on the psy detail

When Doug set out to build his body strength, take off weight, shoot a perfect round at the range, or calm down a recalcitrant psych patient there were few that could match his tenacity

So today I want us to remember Doug Bailey in many different ways, the ways that so many of you shared with me the past two evenings --- so how shall we remember this friend, son, husband and officer?

Let us remember Doug as a man of great conviction --- he agonized over his change in career yet he found his great passion in life and he made it come true --- I admire and respect him greatly for that --- and all of us are benefactors of his pursuit of excellence

Let us remember him as truly a Gentle Giant of a Man yet one who could and would turn on his assertiveness and aggressiveness only when all other avenues had been exhausted ---

Doug was a philosopher and often came out with pithy sayings, "An armed society he would say is a polite society"

Let us remember Doug as one whom we would trust our back to under any circumstance because we knew it was covered by the best

Let us remember him as a fellow traveler on this road of humanity that along with Miss Louell had a sweet tooth and always preferred to choose his own goodies - in fact he often signed his emails to me always self deprecatingly --- Donut Doug

Let us remember Doug as a man that was brought up right with the best of southern values, beliefs and principles --- he was taught by his parents to show and give respect and in return he earned it - he understood and practiced integrity

Let us remember him as humble man with great insight and wisdom for his age that set about with his good nature, humor and intelligence to make things easier for the rest of us and that would today hope that we come closer together as friends and colleagues as the result of his life well lived by example

Let us remember Doug as the officer that by humanizing a situation could sweet talk and then waltz a recalcitrant little old lady into the back of a squad car for transport

Let us remember him as one who wore his “Thunderware” with great pride (and for those of you who don't know what “Thundewear” is see me after the services) and that could buy, sell, trade and talk guns as long as you were interested

Let us remember Doug as an officer that could find humor in most anything and share it at just the right time and in the right tone to make life better for all of us even if it was just for a minute

Let us remember this Gentle Giant of a man as one who was proud to be a called SWAG --- a SWAG --- “A Social Worker with a Gun” – a kind, caring and compassionate soul that would often size up a situation with a homeless person and many times in the end give him his last $5

Let us remember Doug as a friend who understood what was truly real and what was transitory in our world – a self-deprecating and self—effacing person who effectively directed attention to others to help them grow themselves into better people

And let us not forget Doug Bailey was a man of opinions based on strong principles and values --- a conservative fellow -- some might say to the right of Attila the Hun --- I would say simply a man of deeply held convictions bore from a life of experience

Doug knew there was good and bad in this world – that there was right and wrong --- and that the highest calling was the protect and serve

Let us remember him as a soft-spoken, gentle hearted fellow that always knew what to say and when to say it and that always gave wonderful loving hugs to his friends and family.

I miss you Doug Bailey I truly do.

Until next time,

Dr. Darryl

The Mysterious "Fifth Photo"

Thanks to everyone that pointed this out!

The fifth photo described below did not get loaded yesterday on the Tybee Prom soooo - here it is:

(Fifth photo) Kay, Mr. Doug (in the background), Miss Lil (standing) Vince and "Miss Junie" Merkle - our gracious landlords and friends

The Tybee Prom

(First photo) Kay and Vince share a laugh.

(Second photo) - "The Three Amigos" Mr. Doug "Blues Brothers" Toemeck, Darryl "Sir James Bond," Vince "The Quintessential Southern Gentleman" Merkle.

(Third photo) Mr. Doug, "Miss Lil" Toemeck, Kay and Susan Martin

(Fourth photo) Vince getting instructions on "bow tie" tying.

(Fifth photo) Kay, Mr. Doug (in the background), Miss Lil (standing) Vince and "Miss Junie" Merkle - our gracious landlords and friends

From Chateau Amoire on Tybee Island ---It has been 41 years since I went to my high school prom with dear friend Faye Stromatt. I was a shy "geek" kind of guy in school always too insecure to ask for a date.

I returned to my youth last weekend when I went to the Tybee Island Prom sponsored by the Tybee Island Beautification Committee, a talented group of volunteers who work diligently and hard to make the island attractive year-round.

However, this prom was one that I could truly enjoy.

I didn't worry about seeing whomever else was there, or what my hair looked like - I am purposefully bald these days, or even what I wore - I supported the only kilt and bow tie and tuxedo shirt at the ball.

I didn't worry about the fact that I don't dance very well - hell I don't dance much anyway and this did help me understand the interest I would have in taking dance lessons.

I did enjoy not having to worry and fret about all the silly high school stuff we used to worry about. I simply went and visited with friends that were vacationing on the island and my neighbors and my friends from the Tybee Dog Park.

I finally realized that at 58 moving toward 59 years of age that I could be me, at least here on this island that sports the most Eastern point of Georgia, and no one cared what I wore, how I danced or what I drank.

It was fun, relaxing and refreshing and peer pressure unlike high school simply didn't exist.

Why do you suppose it takes us maturing to finally let our defenses and insecurities down and not be concerned about what others think?

Good night Mrs. Calabash where ever you are, sorry you couldn't be here.

LPG, Dr. D

Should We All Just Go 'John Gault'?

"Everyone has the right to make his own decision(s), but none has the right to force his decision on others." --- Ayn Rand ('The Virtue of Selfishness', Chapter 12) {WMail Issue #10}

From Tybee Island, Ga. --- There were some big storms rolling through the low country last night and as I lay awake listening to the thunder, comforting my little buddy "Little Bit," I began to think about the fact that I started working at age 13.

Today, at age 58 approaching 59, that means that I have worked close to half a century. For 46 years of my life I have worked and paid taxes. I have tried to grow an estate, maximize my wealth and talent, continue my education and give back in a meaningful way to society not just through my taxes but also through my charity.

I am now being told by the POTUS and current Congress that I will be penalized through higher taxes that will be redistributed to those in need of health care, midnight basketball, new bridges and transit systems to nowhere, more money for the public school system and the endless array of publicly funded programs that have no accountability whatsoever.

As I lay awake listening to the night sounds of the storm I came to understand what Dr. Sigmund Freud meant by the two most important things in a man's life is "love and work."

Both of these have at times in my life alluded me in fulfillment. Man I believe is always searching for unconditional love and meaningful work.

I came away from this contemplation thinking that maybe it is time to simply go "John Gault" and let the looters on both sides of the political spectrum in Congress loot somewhere other than my pocketbook.

What do I mean?

"Who is John Gault?"

John Gault was the fictional character in Ayn Rand's classic novel Atlas Shrugged.

After many years of not reading this book yet being encouraged to do so by many friends on the conservative and libertarian side of the political fence I did so the past two months. The book is more than 500 pages yet once you get into it if you have any sense of outrage at what is going on now in our once free and capitalistic country you will become even more outraged.

What Rand wrote about in 1958 is today's world where the government has nationalized and socialized business and industry.

In the book the government has turned the country into a socialist welfare state because its "leaders" believe all wealth should be redistributed.

John Gault led the strike in this novel to shut down the "engines of the world" and invited those who were or would be the producers to join him in Gault's Gulch where they would produce only enough to sustain themselves and work for no other man's benefit.

Recently on Pajamas TV (www.pjtv.com), Dr. Helen Smith, a Knoxville, Tenn. psychologist, noted that many people are considering how to become present day "John Gaults" in other words if the administration is going to penalize us as producers for earning more by taking more in the form of taxes then how can we "John Gault" it by earning less and enjoying life more?

Seems pretty simple to me POTUS and Congress, you want to tax anyone earning above $250,000 or is it $150,000 VP Biden?

Whatever level you choose you can bet that from that point forward those of us whom you count on to produce your taxes may just decide to earn less and less, maybe even reduce our production to the level that we can also sign up for your redistribution and giveaway programs.

Yes, it has been 46-years that I have diligently worked, saved and at times maybe even sacrificed some of my life spirit to be a good, patriotic tax paying citizen. Oh, I will still pay the tax man until I die in some form or fashion, because there are even hidden taxes now that we all must pay to get along, but should I work for the other man's needs and at his whims when he is not willing to work for himself and pay his own share?

I recommend you listen to this interview with Dr. Smith at:

http://www.pjtv.com/video/Ask_Dr_Helen/PJTV_Daily_Oct_29th_Dr_Helen/676/1951/

then decide for yourself your own future.

I look forward to meeting you Mr. Gault!

Love, peace and grace, Dr. D

On Being Friends - Vivian - My Dancing Queen

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek on Lake Barkley --- Have you ever met someone and just knew from the outset they would be a friend?

Such was the case with our dear friend Vivian Ortiz at Tybee Island, Ga., our home away from home and a friend that we met a few years ago at the dog park.

Such wonderful friendships I believe have something to do with mystical connection, as if maybe you have known them before, or the level of trust and rapport is so solid at the outset you just know they are your friend.

Vivian is the “mother” to “Sister,” one of Max and Little Bit’s buddies at the dog park. Her previous best buddies, Jackson and Max, transitioned a couple of years ago. We got to meet them. I even got to photograph them and many of you have seen their photos on my personal web site www.ldarrylarmstrong.com

Dog lovers know other dog lovers --- and that maybe part of the fascination that develops close friendships but not always.

I have come to believe that we bring people into our lives that we need and that need us. People that share common values, histories, happiness and heartbreak. Although we may not share common politics, religions or food tastes – then again we may. However, there is no doubt in my mind that Vivian is one of those dear souls that I have reconnected with from sometime in the past. I am grateful for that.

More so I am grateful to know such a talented artist --- she is a dancer. Not just any dancer, rather a committed, talented and dedicated dancer.

Now for those of you that know me I don’t dance well at all. Perhaps, I at one time fantasized about being John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever but that was truly a fantasy. My wife can attest to the reality of my inability to lead probably because I have always been following ;-)

When Vivian told me of her love of dance I had no idea until I had the privilege of seeing for myself on the two following You Tubes.

I told Vivian that I truly wanted her to dance at my Memorial service to set the stage for the celebration of a life and the understanding that we go through this one only once.

Graceful, exciting, sensual and joyful --- that would describe our friend Vivian as she expresses herself through her marvelous talent. Enjoy.

Love, peace and grace, Dr. D

"Dancing Queen"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc5m9BVEv9k&feature=related

From the Broadway Hit - "Chicago"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ7cG0u0yyE

Some Thoughts By Me

This is my friend, and an outstanding and remarkable lady, Carlana Stone, author of "Never Give In, Never Give Up" - her life story about being paralyzed when she was 17-years old and not letting that stop her from skydiving, riding her specially outfitted Harley, learning to fly and scuba diving among just a few of her talents. I highly recommend her book.

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek on Lake Barkley ---

Finally after what seems forever I have returned home to Lake Barkley! An almost three week business/professional jaunt out into the world and I had these experiences:

1. Arrived in Iowa to find my business associate hospitalized. Rush to ER and find her and we spend two days trying to figure out her issues. The doctor did, Fixed it and we continued our workshop on Leadership Development for the City of Storm Lake. Kudos to Hertz Rental Car Company's Manager at Omaha Airport - Donna - she turned on the utmost in customer service for me when I really needed it. Thanks to her and everyone at Hertz for getting me a car with a GPS system. And whether Dawn and Patti like you or not "Edith" you are my favorite GPS system!

2. Assisted the Storm Lake Community Health Center in getting focused on developing a strategic plan of action - a mandate and simply good business! Great work they are doing and becoming focused will make them even better.

3. Went to Arizona from Iowa to see a dear friend who is scheduled for at least one "mega dose" of radiation following removal of malignant tumors on her vocal chords and removal of thyroid. We enjoyed the Phoenix Zoo on a bike carriage, some good Mexican and Thai food, and did the spa thing - yep, got another manicure and pedicure and massage! Glenn Nesbitt at Tybee is responsible for getting me hooked on this pedicure thing!

I also confronted, and maybe defeated my anxiety, (if not fear) of the dreaded Spider Monkey, hell all monkeys, and I called my friend Tim to let him know of my efforts to resolve this! He didn't volunteer, of course, to come out and help but then that's another story. Don't get me started. Cute? Hmmmm, I have another word for these peeing monsters but will not use it here.

4. Returned to Kentucky briefly while we packed up to then went to Riverside, California to do the 12th annual Space Day for our client Lockheed Martin at Longfellow Elementary School. Probably the best one ever. Kay did magnificent job of organizing - she always does. I was the "grunt" labor along with my "conservative daughter" Penelope. Enjoyed lots of Mexican food and staying at the Mission Inn. If you have not been there go! Ask for Raul, the waiter with personality and utmost customer service. He knows how to fix the bacon that Penelope and I like so well.

5. Finally home. Gathering data and information for a proposal with Battelle and intel gathering for a client in Kentucky. Soon though it will be Memorial Day, or as Mom called it when I was a kid, "Decoration Day."

6. The "Traveling Vietnam Wall" will be in Oak Grove this Memorial Day weekend. I plan to go down and pay my respects and I encourage all of you who know veterans to offer your thanks to them this weekend. We are free men and women - albeit we are losing our freedoms more daily - thanks to the veterans many of whom gave the ultimate sacrifice.

And if the Sec of Homeland Security doesn't appreciate them I damn well do! THANKS to all the men and women, gruntled or disgruntled, that have kept this country free so that political jerks like Janet N., Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, John Murtha and John Kerry (D-Vietnam Veteran) can speak their simple minds whether I agree with them or not.

Simper Fi Brothers and Sisters - Simper Fi,

LPG, Dr. D

Dolphins Block Pirates from Chinese Vessel

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek - Lake Barkley --I have always had this fascination with dolphins. I'm not sure why or how it came to be. Maybe it was the early years of trying to spot one when we used to visit Pawley's Island and now and then we would get a glimpse. We see them more frequently at Tybee Island. Perhaps, it is all that I have read about their intelligence and their habits as mammals, how they treat their children, and fight off and kill sharks that threaten their pods. Whatever it is once again they have shown their intelligence and their compassion --- T. J. McGregor where ever you are this one is one you will want to know about.

Love, peace and grace,
Dr. Darryl


Thousands of Dolphins Block PIrates from Chinese Cargo Ship

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-04/14/content_11184581.htm

BEIJING, April 14 (Xinhuanet) -- Thousands of dolphins blocked the suspected Somali pirate ships when they were trying to attack Chinese merchant ships passing the Gulf of Aden, the China Radio International reported on Monday.

The Chinese merchant ships escorted by a China's fleet sailed on the Gulf of Aden when they met some suspected pirate ships. Thousands of dolphins suddenly leaped out of water between pirates and merchants when the pirate ships headed for the China's.

The suspected pirates ships stopped and then turned away. The pirates could only lament their littleness befor the vast number of dolphins. The spectacular scene continued for a while.

China initiated its three-ship escort task force on Dec. 26 last year after the United Nations Security Council called on countries to patrol gulf and waters off Somalia, one of the world's busiest marine routes, where surging piracy endangered intercontinental shipping.

China's first fleet has escorted 206 vessels, including 29 foreign merchant vessels, and successfully rescued three foreign merchant ships from pirate attacks.

About 20 percent of Chinese merchant ships passing through the waters off Somalia were attacked by pirates from January to November in 2008, before the task force was deployed.

A total of seven ships, either owned by China or carrying Chinese cargo and crew, were hijacked.

Tianyu No. 8, a Chinese fishing vessel with 16 Chinese and eight foreign sailors aboard, was captured by Somali pirates on Nov. 14 and released in early February.

The second fleet of Chinese escort ships arrived at the Gulf of Aden on Monday to replace the first fleet.

2009 St. Patty's Day at Tybee Island

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek - Lake Barkley -- Okay, so this is the way it is. I have not had time lately to load stuff to my blog and I am trying to catch up before I once again go dormant. Those of you who know me well know I go into hibernation often. Right now I must have Spring Fever or something because I am on a roll. It seems that Facebook dropped my video on St. Patty's Day and I wanted to make sure that if you wanted to see it you could. So here it is.

Enjoy,

Love, peace and grace, Dr. Darryl

Finding Friends Where Ever We Go - What Fun

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek - Lake Barkley ---It's cold here tonight in Kentucky and that's why I don't like March in the Commonwealth one day it's beautiful and the next it's dreary. My Momma would have called this "Dogwood" winter since what few dogwoods that are left are trying to bloom. Last week we had "Redbud" winter, if you haven't guessed we name them all up here. Call it whatever it's cold, damp, rainy and we had some snow flurries early this morning but nothing stuck. And yes, y'all I am missing Tybee terribly!

However, the weekend in Middle River, Md. was quite the treat for me and although the wind was very gusty at times it was warm and beautiful.

A bunch of Lockheed Martin employees and their contractors gathered with our neighbors in the Hawthorne community adjacent to the MS2 site there and cleaned up the backs of the bays and the shorelines as part of an annual cleanup campaign.

This was year two for the Lockheed folks to volunteer and we were mighty proud of all of them. They did great work, had a great time and everyone came to understand the importance of keeping the area clean. Even the kids had a fun time!

You can't imagine what all we found but I will post a few photos to give you an idea.

This event is always a treat for me because I get to see our dear friends Doug, Lil, Chuck and Pat, and Ed and Robin who also have become part of my "extended family". These are the "worker bees" in the Hawthorne Civic Association. Doug is my ole buddy that plays the horn and provided music for the photo exhibit (www.ldarrylarmstrong.com) that all my classmates of 1968 got to enjoy this past summer. (It was Doug and Lil that were to visit with us at Tybee and Doug had to turn around in NC and return home due to his back problem. However, I have given him my old back brace and it seems to help somewhat.)

Lil and Pat are dear hearts that work consistently hard to make things work right for the association and the rest of us. And Chuck and Ed are right in there tugging and hauling with the rest of us. You know one of my old friends, who also started out as a "client" said it best --- it is great when you can work together and become friends as well as trusted business associates.

He's right on spot.

Kay and I have been blessed over the years to have made friends in cities we would have never thought we would know people in let alone become friends and colleagues with people there.

Now that we are entering our 15th year of business I fondly look back on all the folks I have met and how many of them have become dear to us. Our work although at times demanding and crisis laden is frequently a joy and so it is every year when we do the Hawthorne cleanup.

We are looking forward already to next year.

Sadly, Kay had to go work in Seattle this weekend and missed it but she did get to see Danielle and Friedemann, our "adopted" daughter and husband so that kind of made up for it.

So, what did all that trash we picked up look like and what fun did we have?

Take a look see:


P.S. (And yes, Sue you and Ace are part of the family too, of course you are! I just overlooked you in my last article because you were not at the dog park the last week or so and you know how an old mind can forget things. Sue Bentley, many of you will recall, received the "Golden Eagle" award from us for her outstanding service as a real estate agent at Tybee Island. Ace is one of Max's buddies! My apologies dear one for the oversight.)

Until we meet again amigos ...

Love, peace and grace, Dr. Darryl

Finding Family at a Dog Park

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek - Lake Barkley --- All my life I have "created" my own families. Maybe I do that because as an only child I sought solace, companionship, "brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers" that meet your needs when those needs are not met in your life. So, it was ever since I came home in 1971 and tried to put stuff out of the back of my mind.

I had no relationship with my biological Dad to speak of even though we did try toward the end of his life to reconcile and for my Mother's sake we both tried hard. My Mom had always been overly protective, which led me to do all sorts of things to "prove to myself" that I could do them despite her protestations and although I dearly loved her she never really understood all that I did and why I did it, which is probably true of most Mothers.

My first "family" was composed of "Brothers" Bob, Bert, Bill, Weldon, Don, Jim, and Hank; "Sisters" Mary Anne, Sue, and Jacki; "Mom" was Brooksie and "Dad" was Colonel L.B.

And all those years we worked together in the travel show business we knew we were "family". "Mom" helped me through my heartbreaks; "Dad" gave me good advice and little money; and my "brothers" well they were just there to help me get into trouble and live life more to its fullest. My "sisters" - it was my job to protect them from many of my "brothers" and all those other scandalous people they would encounter in life.

Then one day "my family" began to die. Sue from breast cancer complications, Weldon from a massive heart attack and then my ole buddy and best pal of 30 plus years Bert from complications of bladder cancer.

Of course, I went off to new jobs and left the travel show business and slowly the "family" became more of a family in name.

However, my need for family never changed.

Then I found Tybee and a dog park.

Sitting on a bench one day I began to realize that a new family was forming not by intention this time but through grace. My Mom and Dad have passed - Jim and Ann Knipe are my surrogate parents and took on that role almost 20-years ago - I often say that if I could have chosen my parents it truly would have been Jim and Ann as my Mom and Dad - and then at the dog park I found "brothers" Paul, Mike, Chris, Vince, Glenn, and Tim and "sisters" Miss Vivian, Allison, Annie, Junie, Chrissie, Kim and Fio.

"Cousins" abound there as well --- coming and going now and then but there are some of us that are "regulars in this family" at least when we are around and others who are regulars because it is a place to come to "be at home."

Tim and I were talking one day. I think he understands that sometimes it is truly hard to "come home" but then we do what we must and life, well it goes on day by day, and until I get back to the dog park to sit and have a cocktail and philosophize I guess I am hung doing so right here.

There are those reading this that understand and get it. So, this video of the St. Patty's Day parade at Tybee Island set to music sums it up well.

At Tybee you live life and enjoy it just as we all should daily. Except there it is exaggerated some and even those of us who the world may deem "different" - well, at Tybee and at the Tybee Dog Park we are all accepted for who we are --- and the dogs? --- well they have known this concept for a very, very long time.

Until next time.

Love, peace and grace, Dr. D

D-O-G spelled backwards - G-O-D - The Amazing Skidboot

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek - Lake Barkley --- Well, for those of you that know me well you have figured out that I am a dog lover. When my friend Paul at Tybee and then Tracy out in Denver sent me the Skidboot You Tube video I confess I got so wrapped up in catching up with work I didn’t look at it. However, I believe that the Universe (you can read God here if you wish) niggles you to eventually read and see those things that others think/feel you might just need.

As has always been the case in my life, I get those missives when I need them the most. Yesterday, I spent most of the day in the recliner with Little Bit and Max at my side resting up from the annual cancer checkup. This event is always draining on me because I always feel like I am William Tell’s son and waiting to see if the arrow hits the apple or me.

I am sure that I am as mentally exhausted after these events as I am physically exhausted. So, I like to come home and kick back with old BW horror movies from the 50s and just be numb for a while. Maybe it is my way of reaching back to a simpler and more enjoyable time of my life. I just don’t know. But it brings me great comfort.

Coming down from the tests and examination require me to not do anything terribly mentally and physically demanding for about 24-hours. As I sat in the chair yesterday it was rainy and cold and dreary, which it often is in Kentucky this time of year. Today, it is bright and sunny. Stay around here long enough and you get any weather you can imagine. I was feeling lonely and depressed and my thoughts went to my beloved Stimpy.

Today, as I am going through my e-mail in box there it is. Paul and Tracy’s video on Skidboot. And like so many things – I don’t think there are coincidences – I opened it and it warmed my heart and made my day.

So, if you have not seen this video here it is. I suspect as a fellow dog lover it will warm you heart as well.

Have you ever wondered about God’s sense of humor – maybe, just maybe God was being dyslexic when he made d-o-g?

Thanks Paul and Tracy. Thanks for being there with such an uplifting and comforting reminder to take every day as it comes and to appreciate what we have in our lives.

(If you need to cut and paste here is the link:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2BfzUIBy9A

Until next time my friends.

Love, peace and grace, Dr. D

For All My Fellow Dog Lovers

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek - Lake Barkley --- For those of you who love dogs. Many of my Tybee friends will recognize some of these photos.

http://www.ldarrylarmstrong.com/

Love, peace and grace, Dr. D

When a Beloved Dog Dies - By Our Friend Junie

From Tranquilla II on the Back of Eddy Creek - Lake Barkley --- You just know I have told people over my 58-years. You just know. Maybe it is intuition, a feeling, a sixth sense or something even more esoteric but whatever it is you just know.

You know within 30-seconds of meeting someone whether or not you will like them.

Such was the case with our dear friends (and new landlords) Vince and Junie at Tybee Island. For one thing they love dogs (and as you will see later in this article Junie captures that well in writing); second, the are kind and gentle people, which is demonstrated through their behavior towards people and animals; and third, they are connective souls - two people who have finally found each other on this trip through this world and you can see it in their behavior toward each other and hear it in their words when they speak.

So, it was no surprise to me that when Junie shared her latest writing with me (she also wrote and sang for me a little ditty she had composed about their dog Tobe) that it would capture the spirit of one of her dear friends feelings when his dog passed. Since it was published in the Tybee Island newspaper I believe it is safe to republish it here.

For some of us our dogs are the closest friends we ever have. For those of us that were only children they became a focus of our world, our constant companions, our confidants, our best pals. And even for us guys when girls came along it was always our "best buddies" that were there when our hearts were broken.

Here is Junie's tribute to her friend Jimbo's dog "Rebel."

When a Beloved Dog Dies

The e-mail from Jim Heflin read: “My beloved Rebel died Saturday morning at 2:30 a.m. from a heart attack. He and I played outside most of the day, and he was his normal self. The vet said that he had more than likely been sick for some time and that dogs, like humans, mask their pain so that those close to them will not worry. I am grateful that he did not suffer, but I miss him more than you will ever know. He was my constant companion for 11 years.”

Rebel came into Jim’s life by accident---or maybe not. Whatever the case, a large dog, with a large head and huge ears, showed up in Jim’s yard on Tybee 11 years ago and decided to stay. Rebel grew into a “Great Beast”, part German Shepherd and part Akita, who knew how to spell. If he heard the letters, c----a---t, the chase was on. He enjoyed illegal frolics on the north beach with Jim’s family, and when Jim moved to a house with a pool, Rebel enjoyed poolside activities as well as an occasional swim. The Heflin’s house will not be the same without his booming bark or presence. Jim will not be the same either---he has lost his best friend.

People who are lucky enough to have the unconditional, uncomplicated love of a dog know that dogs bring out the best in us. “May I always be the person my dog thinks I am” pretty well sums it up. We thrive emotionally because of their constant and non-critical affection. Actually the only real fault they have is that their lives are too short. We know from the beginning that our dogs will probably leave this world before we do, but we are willing to undergo the terrible grief because the time we have with them is worth it.

Dogs and their owners make up a large part of Tybee’s population, and are a daily sight on the island ---in trucks, convertibles, or cars (either in the driver’s lap or riding shotgun) ---in bicycle baskets, in wagons, walking their owners, hanging off porches, chasing cats, and howling at sirens. The sight of them always makes me smile. And, in a few months, when Jim has had some time, maybe he’ll find another best friend. Not a replacement, because Rebel can never be replaced, but another best friend. Because none of us can have too many friends. I think Rebel will be pleased if he does.

“You think dogs will not be in heaven. I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.” Robert Louis Stevenson

And yes, Junie and Kay it made me cry.

Love, peace and grace and until next time, Dr. D

Finding the Way Back Home

From the Back of Eddy Creek On Lake Barkley - Kay has spent the day working in her gardens and I have spent the day preparing for the Storm Lake, Ia. Leadership consultation later in April.

However, I visited today my favorite eating and hang out in Princeton - Peggy's Cafe - to catch up and see Miss Allison and the regulars. The talk is still centering around the ice storm of the decade and the problems with insurance adjusters and getting claims filed.

I am pleased to report that our insurance agent Tim Murphy from Hopkinsville personally visited today - that my friends is customer service! Our initial claims have been paid and although there are some small claims yet to be filed we are grateful for all that everyone has done for us while we were away.

Patrick my handy man, Jeremy and his helper Juan, Elmer my farm manager and our friends Bill and Susan and Matt and Janette, our neighbors and family Barb and Jim --- and others have all been great to have helped us out while we spent the winter at Tybee.

And that's what I like about rural America and the family here at the lake and at Tybee - when one is in need, friends are there to help. That is the basis for our humanity I think.

Many of the line workers that came from various states that had worked Katrina said the damage here was worse than Katrina's!

However, you didn't hear people moaning and complaining to FEMA, who also has not had the sterling reputation they once had, nor did you see activists rushing in to plead the case of the poor and down-trodden. We didn't see Obama flying over the area to review the situation and frankly we don't expect it nor need it.

The bottom-line is this: we can and do take care of our own in the real America where the rubber meets the road and we don't need no "stinking" bail outs to do that.

Thanks to everyone.

Love, peace and grace and until next time, Dr. D

P.S. For those of you who have not yet seen our "talking dogs" here is the first video of our very talented "Little Bit"

Kay Saves the Day!

From the Back of Lake Barkley on Eddy Creek - Our trip back home was as long as the trip to our beloved Tybee Island yet this year I did not have the remorse and unfulfilled feelings I often have.

We have made an arrangement with our new friends Vince and Junie and have rented their place called, and yes I am not kidding, "The Love Shack." Although we have privileges to come and go throughout the 12-months our work schedules will most likely only allow us to maybe "eek" out 6 of the 12 months from now until next April. However, you can bet I will be there as often as possible.

When we arrived at the cabin back home - Kay beat me by 30-minutes or so - I rolled into the lake to see a fire being fought down on the lake front of the property. It seems my Brother Jim's fire got out of hand. Kay saved the day with rakes and a water hose. Actually I am pleased that he had started the burn without me. There is a lot of work to be done, however, Nephew Jeremy and his co-worker Juan did a great job of cutting and stacking the tree tops.

Love, peace and grace, Dr. D




Kay and "The Boys" at our second home at Tybee Island.