So long 2007 - Hello 2008

LAKE BARKLEY ON THE BACK OF EDDY CREEK BAY --- The weather heads south with an Alberta Clipper the next few days. The wolf dog and Alaskan are loving it, the Bischon and the two of us are dreading it!

To all of you who have shared your thoughts, prayers, best wishes, and concerns with us for Stimpy we appreciate everything. Stimpy's output today was minimal but I did hand feed him tonight and he also ate an entire bag of treats so hopefully things will be better in the morning.

Max and Little Bit are fine. Kay and I are spending the evening at the lake following a nice dinner with our friends Barb and Jim.

Our best wishes to everyone for a happy and prosperous 2008.

May God bless you and your families and our troops and their families.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org

Cold and Damp - Stimpy Update

LAKE BARKLEY ON THE BACK OF EDDY CREEK BAY --- The weather here has been ragged today but it didn't deter the family from their walk. Stimpy actually ate three helpings of dog food and an entire bag of treats today! The other boys are doing well. However, the weather here is typical Kentucky going from a pleasant winter day to a ragged cold and damp one in less than 24-hours.

I am pleased to report the hot tub has been cleaned and refilled; the pantry has been sorted -- an annual thing for me --- the cabinets cleaned and arranged --- and Saturday I will tackle the closets, my office and the garage. Then it will be truly back to work ...

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org

Best Wishes to All - Stimpy Update

LAKE BARKLEY ON THE BACK OF EDDY CREEK BAY --- Cloudy and brisk today here at Lake Barkley. The boys and I got a good walk this morning although I had to drag Little Bit out of bed and Stimpy's stamina is getting worn I believe. He is sleeping, not complaining and the other two dogs are curled up as well. Max senses something amiss and is staying very close today.

I can't thank all of you enough that continue to inquire about Stimpy and all the family. Stimpy and I both are trying to hold our own. He continues to "teach" me even as his life energy begins to wane. Last evening with Kay gone to her family's Christmas I had to share a king bed with all three who gave me exactly 12 inches of bed! All the boys snuggled close so we just read well into the morning. I am reading although hesitantly at this time Rescuing Sprite by Mark Levin.

My friend Lynn Beckman sent me the following and I find each quote especially poignant. Enjoy.

Loyal Friend
The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog... When all other friends desert, he remains.

George Graham Vest
from an 1884 speech to the U.S. Senate

Devotion
I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source.
Doris Day

Old Friends
Their youthful years have slipped away,
The old man and his dog.
They have a special bonding
That needs no dialogue.

The chase is just a memory,
But how they used to run
When hearts and legs were stronger
And games were such great fun.

Now the pace is slower
for the master and his mate.
If one lags too far behind
The other stops to wait.

Some things we cannot change
Like aging and the weather,
But true friends are quite content
Just growing old together.

C. David Hay

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org

We are leaving Tybee Island Thursday

Tybee Island, Ga. --- I always hate the day before we pack up to leave the beach.

I have to get my mind wrapped around the concept that now I must return to “reality” even though as in all the years past we have worked at least 50% of the time we have been here. So, reality is not work for me it is something else entirely.

The beach, and especially Tybee Island, has become a second home to me over the past 20-years. I have always wondered “what if” --- I had come here straight from my divorce as a single person would I have stayed? Could I have become a “beach bum”? Would I enjoy it as much as I do now?

I have no answers for any of those questions yet I do know that with dear adoptive parents like Ann and Jim Knipe, friends that we have made here, and the dogs we have met I suspect my life would have been quite content. Yet, I am also confident that we have no coincidences in our lives. Things happen according to some plan beyond our comprehension.

So, I suppose things just play themselves out as a much greater intelligence desires.

Leaving Tybee this year though is very difficult. I know that Stimpy will not return to one of his favorite hangouts and my how he has enjoyed this trip despite the doctors visits and the biopsy. He has re-energized himself the last few days and actually has shown some of his “puppy” side flirting with the likes of Walker the Coon Hound. Stimpy found his voice the past two days and has been letting ole Walker know of his interest.

Today, the ole man got a very long walk early this morning. The brisk weather has helped him actually I think feel better. When we get back to Kentucky and the weather is really brisk I hope he sustains his enthusiasm and yet I know we are counting days. Although each day with this ole dog has been a blessing in my life, each day now is truly a blessing.

So many people remind me that we “rescued” Stimpy. But that is only partially true. The reality in my mind is that Stimpy “rescued” and “saved” me from my own despair. I don’t know how you ever repay such a debt or such loyalty to a friend.

If only our two-legged friends had such love, loyalty and fidelity.

Simper Fi Stimper, Simper Fi.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

On Being Alone and Lonely and the Death of Dan Fogleberg

Tybee Island, Ga. --- When it is cold at the beach trust me it is cold and yet very refreshing. All the ole dogs, myself included, enjoyed the early brisk walk the past two mornings.

Although the news of yesterday was saddening to me --- there have been two songwriters in my life that I have always consistently enjoyed --- Harry Chapin and Dan Fogelberg and we have now lost them both.

The world is sadder with the passing of Mr. Fogelberg, age 56 of prostate cancer.

Stimpy Update

Ole Stimper is hanging right in there. He is enjoying this Christmas season with two walks a day. We have returned to the dog park and Max got big romps yesterday with his friends Tobe, Walker and Roger. His output is staying basically the same and his input is not too much different. As long as he is in no pain, and the doctor tells us that we will know when the time has come, I am taking the ole man home for Christmas.

Lilly, Robin Chandley’s little girl joined us yesterday for lunch and brought Stimpy, Little Bit and Max Christmas chew toys, which they are enjoying.

Alone and Lonely

There is a big difference between these two feelings and it took me 50 years to figure them out and how I feel about both.

Growing up as an only child many of my friends and relatives envied me, whereas I envied them for having brothers and sisters. Life is not as good as an only child as you might believe. For those of us that have experienced it, especially in a household where tension was often times high, or where you were expected to only be seen and not heard you find yourself alone and lonely a great deal of the time.

I suspect that is why as I went through high school I always tried to be involved in activities that surrounded me with lots of other people. Also, I was one to immerse myself in such things as drama, speech, debate, and chorus. I will be the first to admit I could not sing at all but Mrs. Allo probably felt sorry for me and also just needed another guy to fill in the ranks.

However, I did have a penchant for acting, public speaking and debating probably because it allowed me to continue to live in my mind while putting on different faces and playing different roles. These high school activities actually did help develop my talents for other jobs I had later in life but in many ways they kept me in a state of loneliness.

As an actor, people see your character and your behavior on stage and they assume that is part of who you really are. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t.

In high school I was a ship captain in the King and I, a minister and the lead in Peter Marshall, an explorer in Shangri-La, a book salesman in The Music Man, a cockney in My Fair Lady, and numerous other small roles in other productions. I still to this day wake up some nights with a cold sweat fearing that I have not memorized my lines. Being the anal retentive kind of guy I am, I actually memorized everyone’s lines and would often ad lib to get them back on dialogue much to the chagrin of the director.

I had a wicked sense of humor and I am occasionally reminded of that such as the last reunion when Dr. Ralph Cash, Jr. pointed out to my wife that I caused him to literally lose it when he was playing the King against my Ship Captain in the King and I. I had forgotten the incident until he brought it forward and I confess it was a funny moment.

I was lonely in high school because I felt as if I wasn’t from the “right sides of the tracks” and felt I wasn’t smart, witty or athletic enough to be “one of the in crowd.” So although I tried different activities became the president of several of the clubs I also had to work to help support my family, which was okay with me.

Because you see I was the photographer for the weekly newspaper. I still got to go to all the ball games, dramas, and special events. I also got to chase fire trucks, cover accidents and get my name in the newspaper on bylines very frequently. I was carving out my own identity and my own personality.

It was my wife Kay that pointed out to me around my 25th year reunion that I was the only person in the room that evening that seemed to easily drift in and out of all the cliques and seemed to be accepted by and known by most everyone. Later when I reflected on this I sensed she was right, as usual, there was not hesitancy on their part or mine to engage and enjoy one another that evening. Heck, it was just ole dependable Darryl, which by the way the class voted me “Most Dependable in 1968.”

However, I spent large amounts of time alone and lonely throughout my childhood, high school and college days. I lived in my mind where the good characters fought bad men and won always. Where moms and dads were the role models for Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best.

In grade school, I spent my summer days riding with Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox, as he was known during the War of Northern Aggression. In high school, I saw myself as Clark Kent without the superpowers of his alter ego. In college, I became professorial and academic and wore Goodwill clothes, grew a beard (until ROTC made me shave it off) and strove to be the best of the best when I pontificated. I smoked a pipe, drank “wine” and brooded a lot. That was until my second year of the ROTC scholarship where I was told in no uncertain terms that I would dress and act like an officer at all times. Trust me in the 1960s and 70s such a demeanor made you stand out and it was during this time that I chose to go all Army. Clean cut would have been an understatement. Talk about not fitting in!

I found myself once again alone and lonely even though I was married --- my practice marriage that lasted 10-years. There were two times in my life I wanted to stop a marriage – the first was in 1969 when I got married – the second was in 1978.

I enjoy being alone these days. Although being alone is more of being with my dogs, a good book, some old TV shows, a comfortable recliner in the cabin at the lake. There are still times when I feel lonely especially when the weather is dark and cold and I turn more inward than usual. However, maturity brings with it an understanding of self that you don’t have in your 20s and 30s, maybe not even in your 40s. You begin to realize as you mature that best friends are often the four-legged kind, that you have disappointed more people than ever disappointed you and that life is simply an event that eventually ends for us all.

I don’t fear being alone any more and when I do have those moments of loneliness, well Stimpy, Little Bit and Max have helped me immensely. Dogs have a way of soothing and healing these things that wives and friends can’t.

It is a shame though that these lessons can’t be learned earlier in our lives.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

A Trucker's Story from our friend Dave Cahlander

Tybee Island, Ga. --- The weather is rapidly cooling and the rain has begun at the island yet Stimpy still is taking his daily walks and seems to be holding his own. Your continued prayers are appreciated. We will be leaving the island on schedule 20 December and returning to Kentucky 21 December.

Our friend Dave Cahlander in Middle River, Md. shares this special holiday story with us. Having grown up with a "Stevie" I can especially relate. I hope you enjoy.

A Trucker's Story

Dave writes -"If this doesn't light your fire..your wood is wet!"

I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie.

His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie.

He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome. I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade.

The four-wheeler drivers were the ones who concerned me; the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded "truck stop germ" the pairs of white-shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.

I shouldn't have worried.

After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot. After that, I really didn't care what the rest of the customers thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties.

Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a bread crumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table. Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty.

Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto his cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.

Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks.

Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work. He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often have heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months.

A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine. Frannie, the head waitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news. Belle Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of this 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table.

Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Belle Ringer a withering look.

He grinned. "OK, Frannie, what was that all about?" he asked.

"We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay."

"I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?"

Frannie quickly told Belle Ringer and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery, then sighed: "Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK," she said. "But I don't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is."

Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables.

Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do. After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I didn't get that table where Belle Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off," she said.

"This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup." She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed "Something for Stevie".

"Pony Pete asked me what that was all about," she said, "so I told him about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this."

She handed me another paper napkin that had "Something For Stevie" scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds. Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: "truckers."

That was three months ago.

Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work. His placement worker said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called 10 times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy. I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. I then met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back.

Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting.

"Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast," I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. "Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate you coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!"

I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room. I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins.

"First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess," I said. I tried to sound stern. Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had "Something for Stevie" printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table. Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it. I turned to his mother.

"There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. "Happy Thanksgiving,"

Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well.

But you know what's funny?

While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table.

Best worker I ever hired.

Plant a seed and watch it grow.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
http://www.armstrongandassociates.org/

A Dog's Purpose - Stimpy Update

Max and Stimpy sunning themselves on the deck at Tybee. Max is our 18-month Alaskan Malamute and was given to us by Patricia Z. an amazing massage therapist friend of ours.





Tybee Island, Ga. --- Stimpy is doing very well today. He has enjoyed two long walks, several poops, and even wanted to chase a cat. He snuck a chicken bone, ate well at dinner, and has had a share of treats. The other boys are all doing well. Everyone is now medicated except me and Kay.

Our friend Vivian here at Tybee shared this very insightful story with us ...

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.

Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

Stimpy Update and I Agree with IBD Editorial

Our continued thanks to all of you for your prayers and best wishes.

I am pleased to report today that Stimpy is holding his own. He is still walking daily, somewhat restless at night, sleeping though as soundly and as close to me as he can, and still likes his treats.

He has sunned himself some today and we were told yesterday by the doctor that he could give no real meaningful prognosis and wouldn't. That what was important was that Stimpy was alive and still enjoying himself. His input is about the same, his output is being helped by stool softeners.

He is still capable of chasing a squirrel albeit not far and showing his disdain for cats --- something he has not been able to teach Max. Sweet Max wants to own his own cat. Apparently he has told Stimpy that he would care for him, exercise him, feed him, and hug him if we wuld just agree to letting him have one!

We are hopeful that we will take Stimpy home to spend Christmas at Lake Barkley and further that his pain and discomfort will not become overbearing any time soon.

We are taking it a day at a time. I am handling my emotions the same way.

"Dirty Harriet"

Now, this is an editorial I totally agree with --- something I rarely find any where in the media these days.

As my old friend Doug Bailey always said, "An armed society is a polite society." I could not have said it better!

A Dirty Harriet Saves Day In Colorado

By INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY | Posted Tuesday, December 11, 2007 4:20 PM PT

Second Amendment: As the Supreme Court ponders what the Constitution means, a volunteer security guard in Colorado shows that the problem with society may not be who has guns, but who doesn't.

Every time there are multiple shootings, like those that occurred over the weekend at the Youth With A Mission missionary training center in Arvada, Colo., and later at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, we are lectured about the easy access to firearms in the U.S. and the dangers it creates.

But many are thankful today that Jeanne Assam, a volunteer security guard at New Life, had easy access to a gun when Matthew Murray entered the east entrance of the church and began firing his rifle. Murray was carrying two handguns, an assault rifle and more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition.

If Jeanne Assam had not had a gun at her side, dozens more might have died in Sunday's shooting at New Life Church in Colorado Springs.

Assam, who worked as a police officer in downtown Minneapolis in the 1990s and is licensed to carry a weapon, shot Murray. Had she not done so, more than two would have been killed at the church that day. Two others had been killed by Murray at Arvada. New Life's senior pastor Brady Boyd said Assam's actions saved the lives of 50 to 100 people.

Last February, another disturbed young man from war-torn Bosnia entered the Trolley Square Mall in Ogden, Utah, and began shooting, killing five people.

Utah is a right-to-carry (RTC) state but lets property owners post signs proclaiming an exception on their premises.

A sign posted in the mall reminded people that concealed carry permit holders could not bring their weapons inside. Trolley Square was a gun-free zone, except for predators. Fortunately, inside the mall was an off-duty Ogden police officer, who was carrying a concealed weapon in violation of the law, and was the first to trade shots with the gunman. He is credited with preventing the murder of more innocent victims.

Unfortunately, he was at the opposite end of the mall and on another floor when the shooting started. If concealed carry permit holders were allowed to take their firearms into the mall, maybe those five could have been spared or even defended themselves.

Gun-control advocates argue that allowing people to carry guns encourages their reckless use.
But despite dire warnings by RTC critics, neighbors aren't routinely offing neighbors and bodies aren't piling up like cordwood across America in one huge Gunfight at the OK Corral.

Since 1991, according to NRAILA.org, 23 more states have adopted RTC laws for a total of 40. The number of privately owned firearms has risen by nearly 70 million and violent crime is down 38%. In 2005, RTC states had, on average, a 22% lower violent crime rate, 30% lower murder rate, 46% lower robbery rate and 12% lower aggravated assault rate.

Like Trolley Square, Westroads Mall in Omaha, Neb., where eight people were gunned down recently was also a gun-free zone. So was Virginia Tech, where a gunmen killed 32 people in two attacks hours apart.

This Colorado incident comes as the Supreme Court hears an appeal of a ruling by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit in Parker v. District of Columbia. The ruling struck down D.C.'s draconian ban on the private ownership of firearms as a violation of the Second Amendment's right to keep and bear arms.

The D.C. court ruled, among other findings, that the Second Amendment's placement high in the Bill of Rights makes it, and the right to self-defense, along with speech and religion, etc., an individual right.

We think Jeanne Assam and the people she saved would agree.

###

And yes, just for the record, my wife and I are both CCW permit holders, and yes I do carry everywhere I go except into airports and Federal facilities.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

Friends and clients who truly care

Stimpy at rest on our deck at 202 Second Avenue, Tybee Island, Ga. Rescued when he was about a year old from the wilds of the mountains in Oak Ridge, Tenn., Stimpy has been my faithful partner and companion for the past 14-years. He was inadvertently named for the cat in the cartoon series "Ren and Stimpy" because my wife thought "Stimpy" was the dog on the show.


Tybee Island, Ga. --- Stimpy had a restful night last night although Kay and I are both now waking up about 3 a.m. and reading. Little Bit had to be taken to the doctor today with the same ailment as Max seems to be suffering.

We have decided to depart Tybee Island on our original plan of December 20th and hopefully we will have Stimpy home for his last Christmas in Kentucky.


He does not at present seem to be in any distress or discomfort to speak of. He even treed a squirrel yesterday. “Saqaw” the Squirrel and he go way back to his puppy days in Oak Ridge when the squirrels and “Kala” the Crow would pester him on our walks and hikes in the mountains.

We will keep everyone posted through the blog.

Mentally I am having good hours and bad ones about this whole ordeal. I am reminded by ordeals such as this one that life is short and every minute is to be enjoyed. Dogs live in the minute --- the here and now --- they have no past nor any future as far as they are concerned.

Humans, especially this human, has lived a great deal of his life in the past and always looking toward the future. Dogs can teach us a lot of important things and perhaps one of the most important is how to live in the now.

The other day I sent a note to all my clients and friends and explained that for all practical purposes I would be worthless until after the first of the year. Dealing with this personal crisis is consuming my time and my mental energy.

The one thing that has helped me more than I can ever express in words are the messages and notes of concern that everyone all across the country have been sending us since I let them know of the situation.

The understanding and compassion our clients and friends are sharing with us truly are helping us to cope and we could not be more thankful. It is during times such as these that we realize we have so many dear friends.

Here are some of the messages we have received

Darryl, I can understand as I lost both my Bassett Hounds when they were 18 years old and my 19-year-old cat all in the same year. I will tell you it was the longest week each time I had to have one put down. I felt like I was taking them to the death chamber to have them relieved of their pain. I now realize it was selfish of me to make them hang on for so long as they wore out, but I did not want to give them up for I was so attached. Darryl it literally broke my heart and I cried all day and struggle to write this now thinking about it.

The vet told me more than once to remember quality of life for them and I wanted to keep them. If it is any help or comfort I did not know what to do with the first one as I showed up at the vet and was told no hope and she would have to be put down. Decision time what do you do take her home in a bag to be buried, have them dispose of the remains or have her cremated? I chose the cremation that way I could have all three done then buried together as they spent their lives that way together all day and night. I do not think I could have taken the dog (Chelsea) home and had the strength to dig a hole to bury her.

A person cannot imagine if they have not walked in yours and my shoes. They may say it is just a dog and I say no it is one who has trusted me all its life and in return has been a loyal friend to me. I pray that you will find comfort in your decision whatever it is as you will go thru it again with others and it does not get any easier.

God give you comfort as you mourn the loss. If I can help please call me on my cell day or night. C.H. Hopkinsville, KY

Bless your heart, Darryl. I am so sorry about Stimpy. And I am sorry you have to work through his illness and pain and his leaving this sweet old world. I am just really happy that I got to visit there a couple of times and rub his head and ears and enjoy the company of Stimpy and Little Bit. They are sweet dogs and I know you are having a hard time. I am glad that Kay is there to take charge of logistics and to take care of you. And I am glad you have been in a warmer, kinder climate but I think it is probably a good thing to bring Stimpy home to the lake house. Either way, he knows he is a lucky dog. He knows you have loved him. And yes, I am sure that he is trying to take care of you emotionally too. All those enigmatic smiles, those adoring wise eyes are full of you. Heck, you two probably have already known each other in lives past and will know each other again in a future life. I am pretty sure of that. Don't call me crazy. I just got home from working at the clothing store where our manager affectionately calls us “shoe dogs”. (We fetch slippers and shoes, we use a few tricks to make shoes fit, and we make people's tired, sore old "dogs" feel a little better with a good fit. I like that term even more, now that I think of it, though honestly none of us deserve such a noble title. Any how, I am just sitting here empathizing with you and wishing Stimpy could have missed this sad ordeal altogether and I am responding to you because I love you and I will be thinking of you and Kay and Stimpy and Little Bit. And for some strange reason, I am seeing in my mind's eye the back of one of our Life is Good tee shirts. It says, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is the day. You are doing everything the way you are supposed to do it right now, Darryl. Today is the day. Whisper to Stimpy and tell him Charlotte said "Good Boy." I love you, Bro. – C.P. Lexington, KY

Doc --- sorry to hear of this as I have had this task as well in the past one was my police shepherd the other my family dog both were as close as a child to my wife and I both were the protectors of the house while I was out on the road so I know how close and how much a part of our lives they become - If possible and he is able take him home and treat him to a good meal and do what needs to be done and take knowledge in the fact that you are doing what is best for him it will be hard for a while but over time you will know what you did was for the best and remember the good times with him - Dan Hubbard CPS/TSO

Doc --- I do not know you nor have I responded to a post on our net so I hope this works correctly. I just want to say how sorry I am for you and your beloved partner. I have my border collie Destiny, who is now 13 and we have spent many long hard hours together on the cattle ranch where we live. I know the special bond that develops between true partners who love their work. I am very sorry for you. Sincerely, Ellamarie Richmond

Darryl: Although we have never met in person, I feel like we developed an instant friendship in our conversations over the past few weeks. Maybe it was because we are both dog lovers and were able to share stories about our very dear four legged friends. I just wanted to take the time to let you know I will keep you and Kay in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Thanks for sharing your stories of Stimpy. Take care, Lori, Panama City, FL

Darryl – Best of luck with Stimpy. We’ve been through this—most recently with Choey two falls ago. Only dog owners understand how hard these times are. We are thinking about you all. Remember that 15 years with a wonderful dog is more than most of us can ever hope for—so you’ve been blessed. Mac, Bardstown, KY

Darryl, I'm so sorry to hear Stimpy's news. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Cammie, Cadiz, KY

A couple of years ago my family lost our cocker that had been part of our family for 15 plus years. It was tough on all of us. You have my sympathy. Tim Murphy, CIC, AAI, Hopkinsville, KY

I am very, very sorry to hear this news. I cannot imagine how traumatic this must be. You and Stempy are in my prayers. – Jonell, Louisville, KY

Dear Darryl: Kay mentioned to me at the program review that Stimpy is not doing well. I am so sorry to hear of his suffering. Please take the time you need to support Stimpy and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. Sincerely, Tom, Bethesda, MD

Hey Darryl --- We are so sorry to hear about Stimpy. We know he has been a good and faithful companion who has helped you weather a number of storms. Please be consoled by the fact that you also rescued him and gave him a wonderful, happy life. You are in our thoughts, as we know how difficult it is to lose a pet. Love, Dawn and Richard, Knoxville, TN

Darryl, I'll keep you, Kay, Stimpy and the other boys in my prayers. Love, Rosemary, Belton, TX

Darryl and Kay, Walker & I said a prayer for Stimpy today, and also the two of you. You are in our prayers. Sam, Eddyville, KY

Darryl, We are so sorry to hear about Stempy. Dogs are truly man's best friend. When we are happy, they are happy. And, when we are sad, so are they. I know these are very difficult times, but I hope you can find solace in the fact that Stempy's spirit will always be with you. It would seem that the long trip back to the lake might be a bit difficult for him. But since he knows how happy you are at the beach -- and how much he enjoys the routine you two have established on these special beach vacations, I'm sure both you and he can find peace in knowing you've spent your final days together in the place the two of you enjoy so much. I know when Daisy passed away in Maryland, there was no way that Andy would have her buried there. We were able to have her cremated and brought her back to Tennessee with us. Maybe you can consider the same thing and Stempy can be in both places for you for the rest of time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Kay, and the boys. Love, Gail, Knoxville, TN

I haven't been on the computer for a couple of days. Ole' Stemper will be in our prayers. Also I didn't know that he'd have to go thru chemo and radiation! What an ordeal for the poor baby. I feel like you, Darryl. The prognosis is questionable and he's so old, I don't think he should go thru surgery either … under the circumstances. I know what we went thru with our Max and Tugger and believe me they are in a better place now. They suffered a lot and it was so very hard on us too....but ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do for the best of our beloved doggies. We were with Max and Tug when the time came so they knew we loved them so very much. We kissed them and said "goodnite" and they slowly and softly went to sleep...very peaceful and no pain whatsoever. It was just better for them....harder for us but again, better for them. So again, sweetie, 'Ole Stemper will be in our prayers and I know that you'll do the best thing for him. Love....Ann and Jim, Tybee Island, GA

Sorry to hear about your dog, Darryl. You have my sympathy--our dogs are "family." Dogs love unconditionally. Too bad we people can't do the same...it would be a great leap toward world peace. The best, Chuck H. Mayville, TN

Darryl, If there is anything I can do let me know Regards, Hol, Hopkinsville, KY

Dear Darryl, I am so sorry about Stimpy's condition. I hope you find some peace and joy with him in the time you have left together. We are thinking of you... Ellen and Dave, Clarksville, TN

I'm so, so sorry...know that I am thinking of you all, and keeping you in my prayers.
Much love, Carole, Nashville, TN

Darryl, I am so sorry to hear, and having just been through it, I know it is more than some folks realize. But it is as important as any thing we do in this life. A man's loyalty to his dog, which trusts him, is one of life's great moral obligations. And I know for you it is met with love in every decision and every act. Your friend, Noel, Knoxville, TN

Oh my dear one, I am so sorry. I know you've been trying to get ready for this but how can one be ready for this? I send you such love, please know my heart is with you and your beloved Stimpy. He has always been your angel. Please keep letting everyone know of developments, and I will tune in with my heart and my tears. Love you much, Marilyn, San Francisco, CA

Darryl, I'm so sorry. Please know we're all thinking about you. Patti M., Storm Lake, IA

I am so sorry to hear that Stimpy does have cancer. I know this is a difficult time for you and Kay, as well as Stimpy. All I can do is keep you all in my prayers. I love you all, Betty M., Smyrna, GA

oh my goodness! i am so sorry you are having to go through this. i know you are like me, in that your dogs are your babies/children/companions/etc. i know it is something we all face as a pet owner, but you are never prepared for it, nor is it an easy thing to deal with. stimpy and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers. :) love brandy, TX

I am so sorry for you! I have been through this as well. Love, Valerie, Louisville, KY

HI Bro! So so sorry to hear about Stimpy...I remember ur doggie well, and know the pain involved in making those tough choices. I had to do the same for my 18 yr old cats back in DC , Pippin & Baggens, and then just this past March with Lily who was only 14 but also had a massive tumor in her belly...which i didn't even know about until she was on her way out. It is gut wrenching as they are truly our best friends and children to the core. Please know I am sending u much light to get thru this difficult time and also sending light to your puppy as he makes his way to the heavens to comfort your Mom and others waiting to great him. Love and Blessings, Sis, Monterey, CA

I am so sorry. I know what he means to you and I also know that he is family. Is there anything I can do? For what it is worth, I vote for bringing him back to the lake. That is the home he loved and you always will be close to him. Hugs and kisses and prayers. Gaynell, Hopkinsville, KY

Hi Darryl, Thanks for the update on Stimpy. I am sorry to hear it. We helped our cat transition this year-it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, so I understand some of what you are feeling. We are sending our love and blessings and I am so happy that Stimpy found you and vice versa. I know how important he has been to you and what a good friend. Being an Armstrong family member is a very cool thing-so I know he has had a supreme life. Let us know if we can support you in anyway. Much love, Danielle, OR

Bro, So sorry about Stimpy...I understand...and I'll be thinking about you and your long-time friend and companion. Larry, KY

Darryl and Kay, So saddened to hear about Stimpy. I knew that you had taken him to the vet but was unsure of the outcome. I well know about the loss of pets. Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you two special people now and always. Love, Cheryl and Joe, GA

THANKS so very much to you all for your notes, prayers and wishes.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.armstrongandassociates.org

12.10.07 Update on Stimpy

Tybee Island, Ga. --- As many of you already know the biopsy on Stimpy showed a malignant cancer. I sincerely thank all of you for understanding our situation and being patient with us as we go through this ordeal.

For the past few days we have been doing our normal routine, walking, pooping and eating --- the dogs and me and Kay.

Stimpy’s output has remained pretty much the same and he seems to have no distress. He can still be his old independent and often times crotchety self demanding now and then some attention and some treats. He is eating about normal for him. He has never been a big eater. He still enjoys the treats although gets picky. He has just had his morning walk --- one of three he gets daily --- and is resting comfortably.

Max (on the right in photo, that's his friend "Teddy" on the left) last week developed a severe cough and the doctor has him on heavy antibiotics for a brachial infection, which it appears he picked up at the dog park unfortunately. This means the doctor has banned him from the park for two weeks. However, he seems to have adjusted okay to this now that we are doing three long walks each day.


Little Bit can tell there is something very badly wrong and both he and Stimpy, especially Stimpy, have taken to sleeping as close to me as they can. Of course, Little Bit has always been the “snuggler” of the three although now Max and Stimpy seem to be competing with him.

We have decided that we will not put Stimpy through the trauma and recovery of surgery at his age (105 in human years). The prognosis seemed to be he might get a year more with surgery and no chemo or radiation and maybe another year or two if he did have chemo and radiation.

The agonizing decision that looms, of course, is when do you know that his health has declined and his pain has begun? We have decided we will simply take it a day at a time and watch him carefully for any signs of distress.

So, that is the update for now. I did not write anything last week because Kay was gone with the computer and air card and I had no way to connect. I also have been fighting a terrible depression as you can imagine. Although writing is usually my way of handling such a depression, well writing and good Bourbon, neither seemed to work very well for me right now.

I can't express adequately how much we appreciate the outpouring of love, prayers and thoughts that so many of you across the country have sent us during this time. Your expressions of kindness have provided all of us great comfort.

I will be sharing many of those notes on this blog in the near future.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.com

The Call of the Wild

Madison visits with Kay, Stimpy and Little Bit at the Tybee Island Dog Park, December 2007.

Tybee Island, Ga. --- Stimpy had a pretty restful night but he chased rabbits most of the evening. I suspect that he is hearing the “Call of the Wild” --- his original pack is recognizing his closeness.

His output today was minimal despite the fact he ate really well yesterday especially his treats. He did tree a squirrel on today’s walk but it was half-hearted and he is only acknowledging the cats with an icy stare and contempt.

He is still pretty frisky on the walks and especially when he is ready to return home. As always he has his own mind and decides his own path. Today, we cut out of the rest of the pack and returned about 20-minutes early. He is resting comfortably on his rug and raising an eyebrow now and then.

What Stimpy has taught me

When the student is ready the teacher will come

Have you ever wondered if God, whatever he or she is, has a sense of irony and humor and just might be dyslexic?

After all, when you spell Dog backwards it is a clear indication to me that these animals were made to reflect all those things that God and the Creator wanted to teach us.

Stimpy has taught me a great deal these past 14 years especially about how to talk out my problems, my hopes, my fears, my aspirations, my heartaches and my losses.

I have faced demons and memories long buried on many of my daily walks with him. I have talked through crap and feelings that I would never share with anyone else. I have faced fears long ago stuffed away for the “fear” they might show weakness. I have used him as my sounding board for difficult personal and professional times and situations. I have shared my loneliness and happiness with him.

And not one time did this beautiful creation of God ever judge me, criticize me, or “want to talk it out.” He just listened and showed compassion and unconditional love.

Unconditional love is the one trait that Man is incapable of and yet our dogs seem to be born with the gene. They are never at a loss to show it when we come home to them.

Stimpy has listened when no one else had the time.

I have shared with him the pain of losing a child, best friends and a Mother. I have told him of childhood horror and abuse and of adult angst. And I have shared my heart’s greatest wishes of love never fulfilled and dreams shattered.

Never once did he complain, explain, or criticize or even offer his opinion. He simply gave me those soulful and all knowing looks that conveyed love and compassion that only God’s dogs can do.

As a behavioral psychologist, I studied animal and human behavior and I also sought out and took numerous clinical and social psychology classes. I have always been fascinated with the behavioral aspects of people and animals.

Much like Stimpy, I like to sit and watch people, listen to them, analyze and digest all the sights and sounds of a situation.

To be good as a behaviorist experts argue you have to crawl inside the mind and live there to understand the emotions, motivations, and behaviors of a person.

That’s where I am living a lot these days --- inside myself.

Friends want to console me but there is no consoling that can be done.

I have to simply work through all the feelings about Stimpy and come out the other side.

At times like these it often feels like I am fighting my way through a thick veil of doubt and sadness. A state of being that most men I know would never own up to or admit. We are after all brought up to be the “protector, provider and the strong one” in the family that consoles everyone else. And yes, I do my best to do that for everyone else when they need it. However, the doctor can’t do it for myself.

Simply these days my emotions are raw and ragged, I hurt and ache deep from within --- my thinking is not clear, and my heart --- my heart simply hurts with the pain of a what I know will be at some point a pending loss of truly my best friend.

In the years past, I dealt with anger, grief and frustration through massive quantities of alcohol – Scotch was my preference and I would drink it like most people would drink Coke.

Stimpy weaned me from that abuse.

In the past I would shut down and not even talk to myself about my own problems.

Stimpy taught me that talking to at least him was a therapeutic experience.

I put up a lot of walls in the 70s, walls that I would let few people ever see over, and even fewer would I allow to crawl over and come inside to visit.

Stimpy showed me that he could walk through those walls as if they were not even there.

And today, as he rests on the couch with his enigmatic smile and loving eyes, I suspect he is still trying to teach me.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandassociates.org

Being thankful and grateful at Christmas – and a Stimpy update

The Armstrong Clan's 2007 Christmas Photo




Tybee Island, Ga. --- On June 1st, 1994 I started ARMSTRONG and Associates. Two years later Kay joined the business. We have been blessed ever since and for that we are very grateful and thankful.

How did I arrive at such a life changing decision?

To that point in my life I had worked since I was 13 years old.

I had been a:
Janitor
Stock boy
Reporter
Photographer of news, sports, weddings, babies, car wrecks, fires, dead bodies and autopsies
Baseball, football and basketball statistician
Door-to dooor bible salesman
Printer’s assistant
Dark room operator
A card-carrying boilermaker in a pipe production facility
An assistant to Joe Tom Erwin, Murray State University’s greatest Sports Information Director ever in my opinion
Deliverer of newspapers where I built a 50-newspaper route into a route of more than 900
Bus boy in a cafeteria

And then after I graduated from college a:

·Contract employee for one of those three letter agencies “serving” my country
·Manager for TVA and the Corps for 16-years

And finally I ended up at Oak Ridge National Laboratory where I spent four long years working for Martin Marietta Energy Systems and being bored and frustrated.

It was time for a life altering decision. I was unhappy and unfulfilled. I felt as if I had no identity having left TVA where I was an executive.

I stepped out of the “secure” world (an oxymoron) of working for someone else that June --- something I had done many years of my life and reminded myself that I had been a successful freelancer in college as a photographer, reporter and small business operator.

One of my commitments to myself at the time I started the business was that I would give back 10% of my time and my revenue to my community, my world, to those things in society I believed in and wanted to see prosper. We still do that although we have upped the percentage.

I remembered in December of 1994 that my Grandfather Gunther had always supported the Salvation Army and as a child encouraged everyone one of his grand kids to always give to the “bell ringer” staffing the kettles even if it was only a nickel.

So, it was that I volunteered that December to ring the bell at the Oak Ridge Mall.

The evening was very bitter and cold and so I dressed in my old Army field jacket, insulated underwear, gloves, a toboggan and scarf and yet I was still cold.

But ring the bell I did with great gusto and enjoyment for now I was returning what the Universe had so wonderfully provided --- and still does to this day. I finally felt free.

As I stood there that cold Wednesday night listening to Christmas carols I remembered the words of Tommy Miller, Kay’s Father and Jim Knipe, my adopted Dad at Tybee Island, both of whom had encouraged and inspired me and reassured me that I could be successful at whatever I chose. These were messages I had never before received from adults that I admired and respected as much as I did these two men.

I recalled all the times in my life that I had doubted myself, all the insecurities that were honed in me by living in a situation where “security” was always placed in others hands.

That led me to think about what was success and what was security?

And it dawned on me then as it does today as I write this that it is not about money, prestige, power, material goods, fine cars and expensive houses.

Success became pretty clear to me that evening as nickels and dimes began to appear from kids and adults of all ages, success was having the freedom to stand out on a cold night in December and “ring the bell” to encourage people to help someone less fortunate.

I could do this for the first time in my life and not be worried about my own needs because the Universe and hard work combined were creating success for me.

Success was about having friends that came to me in all shapes and sizes, genders and races, educational and income levels, and of many different religious and political persuasions.

Success was being able to spend quality time with your friends and not dreading going back to work.

Success was feeling good about your work, yourself and your family.

Success was not a thing --- duh --- it was a state of mind.

I saw many things that evening that reminded me of the interconnectedness of all of humanity and how all of us are successful in our on ways.

Take the East Tennessee family who rolled into the parking lot in a smoking log truck that looked like it was on its last legs. Literally toothless, dressed in pretty dirty and dingy work clothes, the Father marched his kids up to the kettle and each put in a dollar and thanked me. When it came his turn he pulled a wad of money from his overalls and peeled off a hundred dollar bill. He smiled a toothless grin and thanked me for standing out in the cold and said, “They helped me when I needed it the most, now it’s my turn to help them out.”

Or, the minority chap dressed in the sagging pants and gang colors and draped in “bling” who walked up and dropped in his hundred dollars and told me “not to worry they were watching out for me.”

Each one had achieved success and now they were sharing it.

I realized that night that only in America could a kid like me with parents who had minimal education, low paying jobs, and who lived on the wrong side of town and the “tracks” grow up to be as successful as anyone.

I realized that it was my parents who instilled in me a work ethic that would sustain me for my life and how I would always be grateful for that.

In some way it was my parents that helped me develop my love of reading and learning.

Sadly, I suspect that some of that instilled behavior came from my escape to quieter parts of the house when they were in their fighting modes and raising their voices to one another. For me a book offered another world where life was calm and peaceful and no one raised their voices or said unkind things. It still does to this day.

And although my wife wonders why I always have the TV or radio playing when I am at work or just around the house, I suspect the psychologist in me would admit it is about “drowning out” the voices I still hear in my head that are critical, unkind and harsh.

I can’t hear very well any more out of one ear; too much shooting of guns in my earlier years without using hearing protection. Even now I can’t stand to be in a room where there is chaos, loud voices and noises, and competition to speak and be heard.

Perhaps this is another way my parents helped me be successful because one of the things I seemingly do well is to help groups of people chill out, calm down and talk to one another instead of at one another.

I really don’t like conflict yet most of my career has been based on helping people deal with it and to develop relationships with people so that when conflict arises we can talk it through to a mutually satisfactory ending instead of going to court and the media to get attention.

I realized that cold December evening that in one way or another every one of us views success differently and yet we are all capable of achieving our own success.

And this December as we sit at Tybee Island, we will again give back some of our success for surely "Secret Santa” will make a visit to a neighbor.

Update on Mr. Stimper

Stimpy had a good day yesterday and is having a pretty good day today (Sunday). I did have to give him some pain meds around 2 a.m. this morning and he did take three pain pills yesterday. He is doing Number 2 yet you can tell he has to strain. However, he is as sweet and independent as always. He certainly had his share of treats yesterday and is eating well.

Thanks again to all of you who are praying for him and us.

Until next time.
Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org

Stimpy - Update

Stimpy enjoys the sun at Tybee Island as Little Bit provides guard services.




Thanks to all of you who have contacted me about Stimpy and for your prayers.

Stimpy is resting very comfortably today. I did have to give him a med during the night as he became quite restless.

The biopsy should be back within 7-10 days so we can assess the situation. I am sure surgery will be required because of the location of the tumor and the impact it has on his ability to go the bathroom. We are fortunate to be in Savannah. There is a surgeon here that is well respected and regarded. If this should be cancerous, we have access to a great oncologist in Jacksonville, Fla., which is about two hours from us.

I am encouraged by his demeanor. Although he is laying around a lot, he went for a long walk with the pack this morning and even barked at a cat or two. He is leaving the chasing to Max and Little Bit though.

Your continued prayers are appreciated.

Until next time.

Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandassoiates.org

Stimpy's Back Home

Stimpy sporting his shaved leg and at rest on his rug at Tybee Island.


Tybee Island., Ga. --- I broke down and went with Kay to pick up Stimpy from having his biopsy. I am glad that I did. The folks at the Greater Savannah Animal Hospital could not have been nicer or more courteous and customer focused.

Stimper is home now. He came through the biopsy just fine. He has some pain meds, antibiotics and stool softeners. He seems a little anxious but pretty much back to being Stimpy.

The biopsy will be back in 7-10 days, hopefully sooner. Then we will make some decisions on the next step.

My emotions are under better control now that I know he was well cared for. He is dozing right now.

Now "Dad" can get back to work!

Until next time.

Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandassociates.org

Stimpy - Health issues

Tybee Island, GA --- My heart aches so much today.

Most of you know if you have read this blog in the past, that Stimpy, my wolf/husky mix and I are tightly bonded. And most of you know that I am a pragmatic and realize as my dear friend Bert told me many years ago “All dogs will die and go to heaven.”

I have helped many of my friends through the passing of their beloved pets. Now, I fear I will sooner than I wish find myself faced with the same set of circumstances.

We are at Tybee Island, Ga. and for that I am thankful. They have good vets and vet techs here next door in Savannah.

Here is the story.

You see two days ago in a routine bath, something that Stimpy really doesn’t much care for; Kay found two lumps on his rear end. We had noticed in the past few days he was straining to go to the bathroom. I encouraged her to take him to the vet. Taking Stimpy to the vet is something I have done only once when we lived in Oak Ridge. Vets are like all doctors to me I don’t like them and I don’t like to be around them nor does Stimpy.

Thankfully Kay has always assumed this responsibility. I also confess I can’t stand needles, the smell of alcohol, and all the other stuff that comes with the medical world. I also can’t stand to see Stimpy wince when he has to give blood since I don’t give blood so well myself.

The vet is taking a biopsy this morning following several hours of tests and stuff yesterday. If this mass they have found is a polyp, which would be the best of circumstances, then we will simply have it removed quickly. If it is cancerous, although we are assured they have an excellent surgeon on staff, all sorts of other considerations have to be taken into account such as his general health, quality of life after the surgery, and his own needs.

I am most of the time a realist. When it came to Stimpy I even acknowledged to myself earlier this year that his time, just like mine, was running out. That’s why I brought Max into the pack hoping beyond hope that somehow his insertion into the family would make this easier on me. It hasn’t. It can’t. And it’s not his fault. In fact, Little Bit and Max both know and are responding to my feelings trying to make me more comfortable and feel their love. For that I am thankful.

However, it does not take away from me the horrible gut wrenching pain and sadness that I feel for my beloved Stimpy and his current condition.

Kay has returned this morning to the vet’s office to have the biopsy done. She asked if I wanted to go. I chose not to. I told her I didn’t even want to know the results from today. I simply wanted to know the biopsy results.

Like most guys I am trying my best to be “brave for him” and for Kay but it is not working very well. Thankfully Kay is the stronger of the two of us when it comes to this situation.

Sadly, it seems that this holiday season has brought all my grief that I have stored up for decades back to me to reflect upon. I am finally acknowledging and trying to deal with the feelings of loss about Bert, Donna, Sue, Weldon, Mom and Dad, Doug and just last week Mr. Charlie and now I fear soon we will have to add my beloved Stimpy.

I am going to stop writing now. This has been therapeutic for me.

I have two other “boys” here that want a walk and I need time away from this for a while. But now you know what’s going on.

Your prayers for Stimpy would be appreciated. I will keep everyone posted on how things are progressing as my ability to sit and write about all this evolves over the next few days.

Until next time.

Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
Www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org

“Donut Doug”

Tybee Island, GA. --- Every now and then in your life you come across someone that you just know instanteously is going to be a friend.

Someone who you realize shares instinctively similar values for God and Country, believes that most politicians are simply out to feather their own nests, and who likes dogs and guns.

So it was with Doug Bailey. Doug was a good ole East Tennessee born and reared fellow with a pleasant smile and a soft voice.

I briefly met Doug the first time in a horrible snow storm one Christmas when he delivered his sister-in-law Marilyn King for me to pick up at a convenience market near Clarksville so we could share Christmas together.

Marilyn and I go back to our days at Murray State University and for some reason she is another of those friends I have never lost contact with over the last four decades.

Marilyn’s sister Carole married Doug and like she said she knew he was a good fellow when he didn’t run screaming from her house one night when her poodle Jasmine peed all over him --- Doug I am sure saw it much like I would --- he was being marked.

Doug like many of us had had a practice marriage or two. So had Carole. So when the two of them settled in with Carole’s two dogs it was not without careful thought. I have never seen two more compatible and happy people wed.

I met Doug when Carole and Marilyn were making the final plans for their Mother’s funeral. I officiated and gave the eulogy for Mrs. Louella King. Doug was most kind in his comments about the eulogy, however, that is not what made us friends.

Following the funeral Marilyn, Carole and Doug had to do what all children must. They had to make arrangements to settle the Mrs. King’s estate. Now, many spouses especially good ole boys from the South might have shunned any responsibility for this. Not Doug.

Doug had been there every step of the way with the slow decline of Mrs. King supporting her, Carole and Marilyn. Never once did I ever hear him complain, grumble or question the proceedings. Many son-in laws would have become difficult to be around in those circumstances but not Doug.

Doug and I got along so famously I think because he and I were similar in many ways.

He was an only child of parents of humble origins. He liked to read most anything but especially for fun Dean Koontz and magazines about guns. He liked guns and shooting them and he believed an armed society was a polite society. He liked Coast-to-Coast radio late at night and thinking about the esoteric side of life.

He liked people and watching them and getting to know them. He liked helping people especially those less fortunate. He liked to eat good steak and have a cold beer.

He was conservative in his politics and believed there was a right and a wrong and that our country was worth fighting and dying for.

He was patient, kind and considerate to those especially in need of attention. He was gentle and yet firm. He was the kind of guy that you could trust your back to and never doubt it was well protected.

He was funny and witty.

He was good to his wife and attentive to her.

He believed in a God and that John Wayne, Elvis Presley and President Ronald Reagan were national heroes.

Doug Bailey was the kind of person that if I were looking for a friend I could not have found one better. Sadly though Doug two years ago this December parted this world.

Doug liked to drive fast. So do I, although I confess at 57 I have slowed down a lot. One rainy December evening enroute to work he failed to negotiate a rain slicked curve on I-440 and Doug joined many of our heroes that had gone before.

I was asked and honored to deliver Doug's eulogy. This is what I spoke about when I delivered his eulogy. Perhaps some of these words will resonate with you this Christmas season and you will truly find love, peace and grace as yoiu reflect on these thoughts.

The great writer Somerset Maugham once wrote, that ‘The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.’

Doug Bailey never ceased to love, of that I am sure.

Everyone that came to know Doug knew him as a “Gentle Giant” of a man with a heart as big as they come. A heart that surely even in his final moments on this earth was filled with the love of life, family and friends.

Doug loved his Mom and Dad, his wife Carole, his sister in law Marilyn and each of his friends gathered here – he loved his job with an all consuming passion.

Now, how you say do I know this?

Well, when it comes to Carole let’s simply review the circumstances under which he won her heart --- 10 years ago this time of year --- in 1996 --- with one of the worst snowfalls the city had ever seen on the ground Carole and Doug were to have their first date --- Carole received a call from Doug -- she was certain that he would cancel after all – she lived in Madison – he in Laverne – they had really only talked a few times and she did live at the top of a very steep hill – yet as the time for the date approached with no relief in site for the weather when Doug called he simply confirmed the time he would pick her up – now Marilyn had felt so bad for her – fearing she would spend her birthday alone had sent her flowers – yet the day and time arrived and so did Doug – he was driving a new rented Jeep Cherokee geared to 4-wheel drive --- that was Doug --- dependable, responsible and true to his word – something that we would all learn that we could depend upon ---

Some of you will suggest that this was the sign of true love.

But this is the rest of the story --- shortly after this date one evening Carole invites Doug into her home to meet her beloved children --- two charming and cuddly poodles --- Jasmine and Black Jack – and when Doug gets seated and comfortable – Black Jack jumps up and proceeds too “mark his territory” on Doug’s pants – yes you heard me right --- now I am pretty sure we know how most men would have reacted --- most men certainly would have not reacted the way Doug did – but you see most men were not Doug – he later told everyone that he knew right then and there that the children were just christening their new Dad --- and as you know Carole -- he loved Jasmine and Black Jack just like they were his own children -

You can tell much about the character of a man by the way they treat animals and children and how they speak of their country, show respect for their flag and their work --- and how they speak of their wife and their mother-in-law ---

As many of you have attested Doug always spoke with great fondness of Carole when at work and remarked of how fortunate he was --- he told many of us – since he had had two practice marriages – that the third time was certainly charmed --- and if you were ever around the two of them you could tell from the way they interacted and spoke to each other that they loved and cherished one another ---

Carole and Marilyn’s Mother – Miss Louell King was equally adored by Doug --- during her extended illness he was always available to assist and help in anyway to care and comfort her, Carole and Marilyn --- he and Miss Louell shared common interests --- a sweet tooth and movies --- and he thought so much of her in fact he even agreed to care for her sickly and aging poodle “Misty” after Miss Louell passed away --- as you know when Doug made a commitment he would always fulfill it /// a valuable lesson that I am sure was taught by his parents –-- now Misty was an aging old soul herself ---blind and incontinent one day Doug went to the garage to check on her and in frustration he kicked not Misty but her bedding --- later he would tell his own Mother --- Miss Shirley that he was certain that he had received a ghostly and swift kick in the butt that day –

Miss Louell surely watched over him then and I am certain greeted him with open and loving arms when he arrived the other night

Doug was one of those sensitive souls that knew just how much a Mother can mean to their daughters --- he was there for them with never a question asked or a complaint given during those days of illness --- it was in fact at Miss Louell’s funeral that I came to truly know Doug and began to cherish and love himself myself ---

Many of you may not know this but Doug has always had a healthy respect for law enforcement --- he began to show that respect early on in his life --- it seems that around age 16 or so that Mr. Bailey had bought and helped him soup up a 1972 Grand Prix (car shopping was something he and his Dad had in common) – Mr. Bailey said he found out only later that the car with its new carburetor would do about 130 – in fact it ran so good that one night as Doug was being chased by the Knoxville PD he felt badly enough about the fact they couldn’t catch him that he actually stopped and waited for them to catch up --- now after being detained and taken to the jail he pleaded with the officers not to arrest him because most assuredly his dad would not bail him out --- after a stern lecture he was released --- and so his love of law enforcement began

Speaking of cars and trucks --- We all know that Doug loved his cars and trucks almost or maybe even as much as he loved his guns and his wife – his favorite car / Mr. Bailey says growing up / was a 1969 Yellow 396 Chevelle --- but whatever car or truck it was – it was Doug’s way all the way – his vehicles were always immaculate, clean inside and out – he was always buying, selling or trading – it was part of his East Tennessee heritage and one that he exercised all his life

Doug was a big reader --- all of his life --- in fact, around the 4th grade or so it seems that his Mom received a call from the principal of his school wondering when Doug was returning --- knowing full well that she and Mr. Bailey thought he was in school she called his Dad and they crept home --- he would later say that he knew he was in big trouble when he heard the high heels on the stairs --- sure enough Doug had --- how do we say gotten bored with school and would slip back home each day after his parents left --- and there he was curled up in bed with his cat and a book

Yep. our friend Doug was a reader, a researcher, a purveyor of knowledge -- if you know Dean Koontz you knew Doug’s favorite author --- yet Doug read lots of stuff – he satisfied his curiosities by reading and researching --- want to know about Human Growth Hormones or the best work out routine --- Doug was your man --- want to know the best ammo for a Glock or how to clean it in the upper tray of your dishwasher --- look no further than Doug--- want to discuss the latest conspiracy theories on 911, UFOs or psychic phenomena – pull up a chair and talk to any depth you wish – in past days Doug might have been called a Renaissance man – frankly I always thought he was just one of the most inquisitive students of human nature that I have ever had the privilege too know

Doug Bailey could do anything – absolutely anything he set his mind to –-- think about it --- at age 46 he chucks his corporate job --– goes to the Academy and fortunately ends up at Vanderbilt University working eventually on the psy detail

When Doug set out to build his body strength, take off weight, shoot a perfect round at the range, or calm down a recalcitrant psych patient there were few that could match his tenacity

So today I want us to remember Doug Bailey in many different ways, the ways that so many of you shared with me the past two evenings --- so how shall we remember this friend, son, husband and officer?

Let us remember Doug as a man of great conviction --- he agonized over his change in career yet he found his great passion in life and he made it come true --- I admire and respect him greatly for that --- and all of us are benefactors of his pursuit of excellence

Let us remember him as truly a Gentle Giant of a Man yet one who could and would turn on his assertiveness and aggressiveness only when all other avenues had been exhausted ---

Doug was a philsopher and often came out with pithy sayings, "An armed society, he would, say is a polite society"

Let us remember Doug as one whom we would trust our back to under any circumstance because we knew it was covered by the best

Let us remember him as a fellow traveler on this road of humanity that along with Miss Louell had a sweet tooth and always preferred to choose his own goodies - in fact he often signed his emails to me always self deprecatingly --- Donut Doug

Let us remember Doug as a man that was brought up right with the best of southern values, beliefs and principles --- he was taught by his parents to show and give respect and in return he earned it - he understood and practiced integrity

Let us remember him as humble man with great insight and wisdom for his age that set about with his good nature, humor and intelligence to make things easier for the rest of us and that would today hope that we come closer together as friends and colleagues as the result of his life well lived by example

Let us remember Doug as the officer that by humanizing a situation could sweet talk and then waltz a recalcitrant little old lady into the back of a squad car for transport

Let us remember him as one who wore his “Thunderware” with great pride (and for those of you who don't know what “Thundewear” is see me after the services) and that could buy, sell, trade and talk guns as long as you were interested

Let us remember Doug as an officer that could find humor in most anything and share it at just the right time and in the right tone to make life better for all of us even if it was just for a minute

Let us remember this Gentle Giant of a man as one who was proud to be a called SWAG --- a SWAG --- “A Social Worker with a Gun” – a kind, caring and compassionate soul that would often size up a situation with a homeless person and many times in the end give him his last $5

Let us remember Doug as a friend who understood what was truly real and what was transitory in our world – a self-deprecating and self—effacing person who effectively directed attention to others to help them grow themselves into better people

And let us not forget Doug Bailey was a man of opinions based on strong principles and values --- a conservative fellow -- some might say to the right of Attilla the Hun --- I would say simply a man of deeply held convictions bore from a life of experience

Doug knew there was good and bad in this world – that there was right and wrong --- and that the highest calling was to protect and serve

Let us remember him as a soft-spoken, gentle hearted fellow that always knew what to say and when to say it and that always gave wonderful loving hugs to his friends and family.

I miss you Doug Bailey I truly do.

Until next time,

Dr. Darryl
L. Darryl Armstrong
www.ARMSTRONGandassociates.org

On remembering Christmases of the past

Tybee Island, Ga. --- A blog can be very therapeutic. So it is with this entry.

I believe there are “givers and takers” in this world. My Mother was a “giver”.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were my Mother’s two favorite times of the year.

My earliest remembrances of both actually come from the days when we lived in a “brick house” on Ratliff Street. Now the significance of a brick house will mean very little to many of you but to me it was like we lived in a “mansion” and somehow even at 6-years old I knew we had “arrived”. I actually had my own room that had windows on two sides. I liked that room so much that I have replicated it in our cabin on Lake Barkley. It was in this brick house that I first remember my Mother's love of the holidays.

The brick house was to be short-lived, however, as my Father sank into a deep depression and began worrying about whether he could afford it; and whether he would be laid off from his job; and other personal issues that I now realize were more important things in his life. Eventually we would move back to the family home place and I would accept it as my home and be saddened when it was sold years later.

Although the holidays were special for me and Mom, I don’t believe that my Dad was a particularly happy man and although my Mother tried to be happy and content I suspect she was less so than she ever let on to anyone. This was complicated by the fact she was a “giver”.

Maybe, if the truth were known, it was my arrival on the scene on September 2, 1950 that created such disruption and angst between my parents. I always “felt” that I was not a planned child and that some how I came between my parents and their own happiness.

Now make no mistake about this, this was never said to me and my Mother always seemingly actually cherished me, however, my Dad seemed to just tolerate me. Whereas my Mom was a warm and engaging person like all of her family my Dad was cold and distant like all of his family. The two as a couple simply did not seem to “fit”.

Years later I would understand that my Dad married my Mother to “get away” from what I am sure was a bad family environment and yes, I did the same thing when I got married at 19-years old in 1969 to my first wife and engaged in a 10-year “practice” marriage.

Perhaps the “split” between my Mother and Dad was due to the fact that at 6-months old I was rushed to Jennie Stuart Hospital on the verge of death due to a intestinal blockage. My life was saved literally by a courageous Dr. Gaither who performed the first out of body reassembling of internal organs ever done on a child that young. I suspect at that point my Mother literally devoted her life to me and my Dad got put to the side. I quite suspect that my Dad began to create his own alternate reality (and life) at that time and we were not part of it.

It was only after their passing that I actually found photographs of them smiling and seemingly enjoying one another’s company. All those photos were before I came along.

Many of the photos we have of ourselves as a family seem to show some pretty dour and serious people including myself.

Yet, my Mother, God rest her soul, always went out of her way to make Thanksgiving and Christmas special for us. This was aided by the fact she liked to give of herself during the holidays.

In my earliest childhood recollections, I can remember lavish dinners with turkey and my Mother’s sage and chicken dressing; jam cakes and lemon pies; turnip greens and fried chicken; and a wide variety of homegrown canned or frozen vegetables. Mother would work for hours on end preparing food enough for her family and Dad’s family, who for some reason never came and ate together.

Mother loved to decorate. Her tree was always filled with ornaments of new and old. I still have many of my childhood ornaments including a cherished plastic snowman and Santa Claus.

And Mother loved her “traditional” holiday television. She was the first to always watch It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, The Charlie Brown Christmas, and when he was living The Elvis Presley specials.

She liked her homemade boiled custard and would only buy eggnog for me. She liked wrapping presents and placing them under the tree and she most assuredly enjoyed watching kids open their presents.

I asked my Mother one time what her most cherished Christmas gift ever was. And only after prodding did she reveal that it was a goldfish that her Dad bought her one Christmas.

Sadly, the little fellow didn’t make it through the night. It seems he literally froze in his bowl on the hearth at their cabin. Yet, when she would tell that story it was not through a veil of sadness yet sheer excitement of having a Father who cared enough to try and make her Christmas special.

I believe that Christmas in my Mother’s mind was special because it meant that all her family would eventually come to visit and through such visits she could give of herself.

She was never at a loss to cook and entertain at Thanksgiving or Christmas. She was at her best in those days always hustling and bustling trying to ensure that everyone had enough to eat and drink.

That is what I fondly recall of my Mother’s love of Christmas. It is through such recollections and reflections that I am able to begin finally the grieving process not just for my Mother but also for all those dear souls that have passed over in the past few years. I have always been one to delay my grieving sometimes for decades!

Life is surely made of memories. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are happy. Some are sad. It is our memories that make our lives special and unique.

May this Christmas season create special memories for each of you.

Until next time.



Dr. Darryl

L. Darryl Armstrong

www.ARMSTRONGandAssociates.org